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My X is in jail...
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 705060" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Moving might be a temporary solution. Sooner or later (probably sooner) your address would end up online on a database. For a small fee it could be found, if even a small fee was needed to find it. </p><p></p><p>How comfortable are you with guns around your children? Are you familiar with handguns? Are you willing to drill gun safety into your children? Your 11 would NEED to learn at least the basics of gun safety, in my opinion. Otherwise having a handgun in the house would be very dangerous. Kids are just naturally curious and very little a parent can do would keep a child from exploring a gun if they can get to one. Studies have shown this over and over. Parents want to think that telling a child to stay away will work on <em>their</em> child, but that just isn't true. It is far better to make sure a child knows the basics of gun safety so that they won't accidentally harm themselves or someone else rather than to pretend that telling them to stay away will keep them safe.</p><p></p><p>If you get a handgun, PLEASE spend enough time at the range to be fully comfortable with it and to be a decent shot. Not a marksman, but decent and safe. Being unfamiliar with your gun puts you in far more danger than an intruder will. </p><p></p><p>I know I sound a bit odd about this, but my father could be called a gun nut. He has strong Aspie traits and was on his rifle team in college. If he had been in the military he would have been a sniper. I was taught to shoot as a child and at our gun club he was one of the best - it was a large club. A couple of years ago he got back into shooting as a hobby and into gun collecting. So I have learned more about gun safety and how people get hurt with their own guns far more often than they get hurt by the intruders they get the guns to protect themselves from. </p><p></p><p>The other big problem with guns for self defense is that you are far more likely to have the gun taken from you and used against you. It is something to think about. You have to know that you will be willing to shoot and kill (if you are not willing to kill, don't pick up the gun, period.). This is especially true if the person you are afraid of is someone you know, someone you once loved. If you don't think you can pull that trigger and kill that person, don't have the gun in the house. If the gun is taken from you, it is likely that it will be used to kill you. </p><p></p><p>I am sorry to be alarmist. I cannot cite the studies right now behind these things (usually I could, right now my brain is sort of fried, sorry). But I know that even the NRA doesn't dispute some of these things, like the gun being used against you if the intruder is someone you once loved if you cannot pull that trigger and aim to kill. There is a reason the police don't aim to wound. Not only is it incredibly difficult, it often just makes the person really, really angry. Someone who is on drugs or who is mentally ill may not register the pain normally and may not stop.coming if they are just wounded. So you have to be ready to aim to kill if you are going to aim, and you have to be ready to pull that trigger. </p><p></p><p>Otherwise, a cell phone that has reception and is fully charged is a good defense. It cannot be used against you, it cannot harm your children, and you don't have to worry about what happens if you just wound the person. </p><p></p><p>You can also get other items for self defense instead of a gun. Pepper spray is very effective. So are stun guns if they are legal in your state. My mother has one and boy will it lay you out but it won't kill you. Some are built into flashlights or keychains and are quite affordable. </p><p></p><p>You can get a key chain that looks like a cat that has pointy ears that you put your fingers in and use to hit someone. They are pretty effective for women. Or so I have been told. </p><p></p><p>Check with the local police to see what is legal in your area before you go and buy something. Certain things may be illegal and using them could get you in big trouble. You also want to know if you have stand your ground or castle laws in your state. I know for a while if you shot someone in my state if it was inside your home it was self defense but if the person was just trying to get in and fell outside the window or was stuck half in and half out, you were in big trouble. So the cops might advise you to pull him in and then call back. Not officially advise you, of course, but . . . . Mostly because it was kind of dumb if it was obvious that the person was breaking in but you managed to stop them before they got fully into your home, then you would spend life in jail, but if they got a foot more into your home and fell inside then you wouldn't even see the inside of a cell. So knowing what the rules are where you live is important.</p><p></p><p>I am so very sorry about your ex. I truly hope and pray that he won't ever come looking for you. If he does, I hope that he is mentally stable and comes with peace and love in his heart. If he comes with other intentions, I hope that you and your family are safe. </p><p></p><p>(((((hugs)))))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 705060, member: 1233"] Moving might be a temporary solution. Sooner or later (probably sooner) your address would end up online on a database. For a small fee it could be found, if even a small fee was needed to find it. How comfortable are you with guns around your children? Are you familiar with handguns? Are you willing to drill gun safety into your children? Your 11 would NEED to learn at least the basics of gun safety, in my opinion. Otherwise having a handgun in the house would be very dangerous. Kids are just naturally curious and very little a parent can do would keep a child from exploring a gun if they can get to one. Studies have shown this over and over. Parents want to think that telling a child to stay away will work on [I]their[/I] child, but that just isn't true. It is far better to make sure a child knows the basics of gun safety so that they won't accidentally harm themselves or someone else rather than to pretend that telling them to stay away will keep them safe. If you get a handgun, PLEASE spend enough time at the range to be fully comfortable with it and to be a decent shot. Not a marksman, but decent and safe. Being unfamiliar with your gun puts you in far more danger than an intruder will. I know I sound a bit odd about this, but my father could be called a gun nut. He has strong Aspie traits and was on his rifle team in college. If he had been in the military he would have been a sniper. I was taught to shoot as a child and at our gun club he was one of the best - it was a large club. A couple of years ago he got back into shooting as a hobby and into gun collecting. So I have learned more about gun safety and how people get hurt with their own guns far more often than they get hurt by the intruders they get the guns to protect themselves from. The other big problem with guns for self defense is that you are far more likely to have the gun taken from you and used against you. It is something to think about. You have to know that you will be willing to shoot and kill (if you are not willing to kill, don't pick up the gun, period.). This is especially true if the person you are afraid of is someone you know, someone you once loved. If you don't think you can pull that trigger and kill that person, don't have the gun in the house. If the gun is taken from you, it is likely that it will be used to kill you. I am sorry to be alarmist. I cannot cite the studies right now behind these things (usually I could, right now my brain is sort of fried, sorry). But I know that even the NRA doesn't dispute some of these things, like the gun being used against you if the intruder is someone you once loved if you cannot pull that trigger and aim to kill. There is a reason the police don't aim to wound. Not only is it incredibly difficult, it often just makes the person really, really angry. Someone who is on drugs or who is mentally ill may not register the pain normally and may not stop.coming if they are just wounded. So you have to be ready to aim to kill if you are going to aim, and you have to be ready to pull that trigger. Otherwise, a cell phone that has reception and is fully charged is a good defense. It cannot be used against you, it cannot harm your children, and you don't have to worry about what happens if you just wound the person. You can also get other items for self defense instead of a gun. Pepper spray is very effective. So are stun guns if they are legal in your state. My mother has one and boy will it lay you out but it won't kill you. Some are built into flashlights or keychains and are quite affordable. You can get a key chain that looks like a cat that has pointy ears that you put your fingers in and use to hit someone. They are pretty effective for women. Or so I have been told. Check with the local police to see what is legal in your area before you go and buy something. Certain things may be illegal and using them could get you in big trouble. You also want to know if you have stand your ground or castle laws in your state. I know for a while if you shot someone in my state if it was inside your home it was self defense but if the person was just trying to get in and fell outside the window or was stuck half in and half out, you were in big trouble. So the cops might advise you to pull him in and then call back. Not officially advise you, of course, but . . . . Mostly because it was kind of dumb if it was obvious that the person was breaking in but you managed to stop them before they got fully into your home, then you would spend life in jail, but if they got a foot more into your home and fell inside then you wouldn't even see the inside of a cell. So knowing what the rules are where you live is important. I am so very sorry about your ex. I truly hope and pray that he won't ever come looking for you. If he does, I hope that he is mentally stable and comes with peace and love in his heart. If he comes with other intentions, I hope that you and your family are safe. (((((hugs))))) [/QUOTE]
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