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Narcissistic Parents/Investment in success, performance of kids
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 666701" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>That sounds like my mom. That awe/patronization circle. I have that too...I mean, the empathy thing, where you know what the hurt is and can give a little extra attention or whatever. That involves judging other people instead of just accepting them. I still do that. That is why I like strong women. I want to know how to be strong like that, and very centered in myself instead of worrying about how everyone else is doing. It has to do with that wanting everyone to be contented, like life is a Disney creation. </p><p></p><p>And we all know what happened to Mylie Cyrus, who was a real life Disney creation.</p><p></p><p>Always and forever, a matter of degree. It isn't wrong to be as I am, but it isn't good to want everything to be perfect. Real boats rock. I condemn myself when the waters get rough. I am learning: Good things and bad things happen to all of us.</p><p></p><p>That is the thing I needed to know.</p><p></p><p>Everything is not always my fault.</p><p></p><p>I am not running around trying to make everything perfect so much, anymore. Here is another thing I've noticed: In reviewing experiences, I emphasize what could have been better. Again, that is me not wanting to be my mom. D H says: Well, that's the thing. When we try not to be whatever it is we think is bad or harmful, we go so far the other way that we eventually do find something. Accept that we had that time together. Whatever it was, however it went, whatever you did or didn't do...that's okay. The kids like us enough to come visit. Son likes us enough, today, to call once in awhile.</p><p></p><p>That's success.</p><p></p><p>That's perfect, because it is real. Real boats sail on. The waters change. The boat sails on through them, beautiful in itself.</p><p></p><p>Stop beating yourself up. That's your mom in you. Recognize those kinds of thinking, briefly review whether any of it is relevant, and end it there.</p><p></p><p>Be human.</p><p></p><p>Accept that the ship is beautiful. It is the waters that are changeable, as waters must be for them not to become stagnant things.</p><p></p><p>Okay, so I added some stuff to what D H actually said. He didn't say any of that stuff about the waters or the ship.</p><p></p><p>I like that imagery though, very much.</p><p></p><p>:O)</p><p></p><p>Especially the part about waters that never change going stagnant.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p><p></p><p>That is huge for me, you guys.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 666701, member: 17461"] That sounds like my mom. That awe/patronization circle. I have that too...I mean, the empathy thing, where you know what the hurt is and can give a little extra attention or whatever. That involves judging other people instead of just accepting them. I still do that. That is why I like strong women. I want to know how to be strong like that, and very centered in myself instead of worrying about how everyone else is doing. It has to do with that wanting everyone to be contented, like life is a Disney creation. And we all know what happened to Mylie Cyrus, who was a real life Disney creation. Always and forever, a matter of degree. It isn't wrong to be as I am, but it isn't good to want everything to be perfect. Real boats rock. I condemn myself when the waters get rough. I am learning: Good things and bad things happen to all of us. That is the thing I needed to know. Everything is not always my fault. I am not running around trying to make everything perfect so much, anymore. Here is another thing I've noticed: In reviewing experiences, I emphasize what could have been better. Again, that is me not wanting to be my mom. D H says: Well, that's the thing. When we try not to be whatever it is we think is bad or harmful, we go so far the other way that we eventually do find something. Accept that we had that time together. Whatever it was, however it went, whatever you did or didn't do...that's okay. The kids like us enough to come visit. Son likes us enough, today, to call once in awhile. That's success. That's perfect, because it is real. Real boats sail on. The waters change. The boat sails on through them, beautiful in itself. Stop beating yourself up. That's your mom in you. Recognize those kinds of thinking, briefly review whether any of it is relevant, and end it there. Be human. Accept that the ship is beautiful. It is the waters that are changeable, as waters must be for them not to become stagnant things. Okay, so I added some stuff to what D H actually said. He didn't say any of that stuff about the waters or the ship. I like that imagery though, very much. :O) Especially the part about waters that never change going stagnant. Cedar That is huge for me, you guys. [/QUOTE]
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