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Need advice about kicking 18 year old out of our house, Help!
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<blockquote data-quote="PatriotsGirl" data-source="post: 458945"><p>I can only tell you my experience....not advice, really. </p><p></p><p>I have been through a lifetime of trouble with my difficult child that only seemed to get worse with age. We went through drugs, gangs, suspensions, alternative school, probation, etc. Sheer hades. My difficult child's doctor is crystal meth. </p><p></p><p>She has run away several times, went to live with my mother across the country twice, and has come back home once in between that. That was around Christmas last year. Things were great for a month. But then everything fell into the old pattern and I knew she was using again. When I found the pipe, I told her it was a full program in rehab if she was going to continue living here. She chose to not live here. That was back in the beginning of February. She has been living the drifter lifestyle ever since. She bounces from place to place. She lives a life I could never, ever live. It is heartbreaking and I will never understand her choices. </p><p></p><p>Since she has been gone, my house is more peaceful than I ever dreamed it could be. My easy child son is flourishing. I never have to worry about leaving money out or locking my bedroom all the time. I don't have to worry about what is going on in my house when I am not there. No one walks around on eggshells. The negative energy is gone. I really look forward to coming home now. </p><p></p><p>Sure, there are days I worry so much about her that I cannot concentrate on anything else. There are nights I bawl myself to sleep thinking about her. But I am slowly coming to the conclusion that all the energy I put into that is useless. It does nothing. No one can change anything but her. I do tell her that I love her all the time. Always reminding her that she is loved and we are here to support her every step of the way when she wants the help....but there is nothing else I can do. She does have a cellphone that we pay for, and that is not up for debate and my husband knows that. That phone is my connection to her and I do need that. It lets me know that she is still alive every day. </p><p></p><p>A saying that helped me - nothing changes if nothing changes. And that is so very true. Had I stuck my head in the sand when it came to my difficult child's drug use, she would still be here going out and partying for a few days and then coming home and crashing for days. Yup - that was the life we had when she was here at the end. Nothing would change. Why? Because she had it made!!! She lived in a nice house, had a great bed that she adored, kitchen always stocked with food and parents that work full time. Heaven for a drug addict. </p><p></p><p>Now, she is still a drug addict. She has not hit bottom. But I am no longer preventing her from hitting bottom and that is what I was doing before. I still make plenty of mistakes - going to post about one of them in a minute....lol. </p><p></p><p>We are here for you! (((HUGS)))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="PatriotsGirl, post: 458945"] I can only tell you my experience....not advice, really. I have been through a lifetime of trouble with my difficult child that only seemed to get worse with age. We went through drugs, gangs, suspensions, alternative school, probation, etc. Sheer hades. My difficult child's doctor is crystal meth. She has run away several times, went to live with my mother across the country twice, and has come back home once in between that. That was around Christmas last year. Things were great for a month. But then everything fell into the old pattern and I knew she was using again. When I found the pipe, I told her it was a full program in rehab if she was going to continue living here. She chose to not live here. That was back in the beginning of February. She has been living the drifter lifestyle ever since. She bounces from place to place. She lives a life I could never, ever live. It is heartbreaking and I will never understand her choices. Since she has been gone, my house is more peaceful than I ever dreamed it could be. My easy child son is flourishing. I never have to worry about leaving money out or locking my bedroom all the time. I don't have to worry about what is going on in my house when I am not there. No one walks around on eggshells. The negative energy is gone. I really look forward to coming home now. Sure, there are days I worry so much about her that I cannot concentrate on anything else. There are nights I bawl myself to sleep thinking about her. But I am slowly coming to the conclusion that all the energy I put into that is useless. It does nothing. No one can change anything but her. I do tell her that I love her all the time. Always reminding her that she is loved and we are here to support her every step of the way when she wants the help....but there is nothing else I can do. She does have a cellphone that we pay for, and that is not up for debate and my husband knows that. That phone is my connection to her and I do need that. It lets me know that she is still alive every day. A saying that helped me - nothing changes if nothing changes. And that is so very true. Had I stuck my head in the sand when it came to my difficult child's drug use, she would still be here going out and partying for a few days and then coming home and crashing for days. Yup - that was the life we had when she was here at the end. Nothing would change. Why? Because she had it made!!! She lived in a nice house, had a great bed that she adored, kitchen always stocked with food and parents that work full time. Heaven for a drug addict. Now, she is still a drug addict. She has not hit bottom. But I am no longer preventing her from hitting bottom and that is what I was doing before. I still make plenty of mistakes - going to post about one of them in a minute....lol. We are here for you! (((HUGS))) [/QUOTE]
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