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<blockquote data-quote="Sister's Keeper" data-source="post: 690092" data-attributes="member: 20051"><p>Again, I still disagree. I know you have said we are reading a lot of our own situations into this, and you are reading a lot of your own into it.</p><p></p><p>I may be missing something, but I think that WSM has said that her son was never deliberately abusive to the family, and wasn't a drug user while living at home. That this occurred later after he was out on his own. That the "abuse" that has occurred was more in what he put her through with worry. I also don''t recall her ever saying that he exposed her or her family to drug dealers or obvious drug use. That she found out that he was associating with these people through her own snooping. (I mean, naturally, he was associating with them, drug addicts have dealers) I think she actually said he mostly stayed away to shield them from his drug use.</p><p></p><p>Like you have said all families are different, all experiences with addiction are different. I am just not the person that can hold a long term grudge, and I don't have the energy to make someone pay for their wrongs at every turn in the road. </p><p></p><p>I feel bad, though, because WSM has been put in a no win situation where she is going to get hurt no matter what she chooses. Like you said, the son is grown, the husband is grown, if we believe "too bad for his feelings he is an adult" then, rightfully, the husband should man up and do the talking and the telling, he should not emotionally blackmail WSM into making a choice she, clearly, isn't comfortable making. If adults are accepting responsibility for their choices, then the husband is an adult and should, too.</p><p></p><p>Personally, I don't care for emotional blackmail. This passive-agressive I am not speaking to you, or I am going to make you miserable if you don't do what I want crap wouldn't fly with me. Not from my husband. Mature people discuss, heck, even argue, but don't stomp off in a pout.</p><p></p><p>Either way, different families, different dynamics, different choices. WSM made the choice that she felt was best for her in the given situation. I am sure it wasn't easy, and I am sure it came with some hurt, and for that I am sorry.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Sister's Keeper, post: 690092, member: 20051"] Again, I still disagree. I know you have said we are reading a lot of our own situations into this, and you are reading a lot of your own into it. I may be missing something, but I think that WSM has said that her son was never deliberately abusive to the family, and wasn't a drug user while living at home. That this occurred later after he was out on his own. That the "abuse" that has occurred was more in what he put her through with worry. I also don''t recall her ever saying that he exposed her or her family to drug dealers or obvious drug use. That she found out that he was associating with these people through her own snooping. (I mean, naturally, he was associating with them, drug addicts have dealers) I think she actually said he mostly stayed away to shield them from his drug use. Like you have said all families are different, all experiences with addiction are different. I am just not the person that can hold a long term grudge, and I don't have the energy to make someone pay for their wrongs at every turn in the road. I feel bad, though, because WSM has been put in a no win situation where she is going to get hurt no matter what she chooses. Like you said, the son is grown, the husband is grown, if we believe "too bad for his feelings he is an adult" then, rightfully, the husband should man up and do the talking and the telling, he should not emotionally blackmail WSM into making a choice she, clearly, isn't comfortable making. If adults are accepting responsibility for their choices, then the husband is an adult and should, too. Personally, I don't care for emotional blackmail. This passive-agressive I am not speaking to you, or I am going to make you miserable if you don't do what I want crap wouldn't fly with me. Not from my husband. Mature people discuss, heck, even argue, but don't stomp off in a pout. Either way, different families, different dynamics, different choices. WSM made the choice that she felt was best for her in the given situation. I am sure it wasn't easy, and I am sure it came with some hurt, and for that I am sorry. [/QUOTE]
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