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Need help adult daughter wont talk to me.
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<blockquote data-quote="dotty" data-source="post: 517059" data-attributes="member: 14148"><p>Not a whole lot more to report on my situation. I went 9 days without a call or a text, and each day got harder. My rotten husband finally made contact with her and asked her to talk with me. She told him absolutely not she hated me and wanted nothing to do with me ever. She told my son and daughter she wished I would die. Well that hurt so I texted her...lots...begging for forgiveness, asking if we could meet for coffee, telling her I accept Bozo in her life, and I just wanted to be part of hers, reminding her how I was always there for her.....Got no response whatsoever. Like I was dead, which hurt even more. Then I get into my rants and get angry when she doesn't respond so then I send meaner texts saying I can't believe she is with such a loser and alienated her family because of him, and that I didn't raise her to be a *****, living with a pothead, and that I feel sorry for her, etc. etc. etc. You get the drift. So here today, Saturday, I sit all alone with no one in my life, no one in my corner. My other two kids think I'm crazy because I cry all the time and tell me to face it she's not coming home, she hates me, and I've lost her forever. All because I didn't like this loser guy that none of her friends like either? And I did what any mother would and told her the truth because I love her? My husband and I fight constantly. He has what he thinks is a relationship with her. I know better. She is keeping him around to pay for the things she needs right now. She's always had a better relationship with dear old dad because he doesn't care to be too involved; turns his head at everything and pretends all is well...when it is not. Anyway this whole thing with my daughter has caused such a backlash in my family, it's turned my other kids against me because I'm so obsessed with trying to reach out to my troubled daughter. They all think I'm nuts, and yes, this situation is making me nuts, but I'm not crazy. I'm depressed, I believe from all that's gone on. But I am very much anything but crazy. I have instincts better than most, and unfortunately am usually right about them. I work a full time job at a medical facility with a lot of pressures and do extremely well. I get along with everyone outside of my family. I have friends, coworkers, and all think I'm the best nicest giving person. But I hate my husband, I hate my home life. It is very difficult to be here, but I have nowhere else to go. House has been for sale for years; not going anywhere in this economy. So we're stuck. Money's an issue because taxes are so high on the home and we have become "house poor", so I don't really have additional funds to talk wtih someone about what I am going through. In fact I tell very few people about the demons in my life.</p><p></p><p>My questons to all of you now, is what do I do? I can't seem to get past the fact that my daughter hates me so much, and I'm not sure I even know why. I've always been there for her and when she was in trouble, I was there to help her then too. I think because I am so right about so many things, she turned away. She moved back with the loser when I found a safe filled with pot pipes , and drug toys. When I confronted her about it, she went ballistic, which to me says it all. But not to my husband. She was arrested last Jan 2011 for having pot possession and paraphanalia, which she said was his. She promised she'd be better and do better, and for a while she wasn't with him so much. But like every controlling loser, he won her back and she's totally brainwashed. He is on probation til May for drug possession. I'm hoping they aren't doing more than pot, but I worry where this will lead. As I said my daughter is still a straight A student. She has only one year to finish her xray tech program and is at the top of her class, so she can't be a drug addict, right? Please help. I've been texting all morning to get an answer. Nothing. I just want to meet her for lunch, coffee, anything, but I haven't talked with her in over two months, and I miss her terribly. This is not what I envisioned and now I feel I have noone to talk to, to vent to, to help me. Thanks guys <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="dotty, post: 517059, member: 14148"] Not a whole lot more to report on my situation. I went 9 days without a call or a text, and each day got harder. My rotten husband finally made contact with her and asked her to talk with me. She told him absolutely not she hated me and wanted nothing to do with me ever. She told my son and daughter she wished I would die. Well that hurt so I texted her...lots...begging for forgiveness, asking if we could meet for coffee, telling her I accept Bozo in her life, and I just wanted to be part of hers, reminding her how I was always there for her.....Got no response whatsoever. Like I was dead, which hurt even more. Then I get into my rants and get angry when she doesn't respond so then I send meaner texts saying I can't believe she is with such a loser and alienated her family because of him, and that I didn't raise her to be a *****, living with a pothead, and that I feel sorry for her, etc. etc. etc. You get the drift. So here today, Saturday, I sit all alone with no one in my life, no one in my corner. My other two kids think I'm crazy because I cry all the time and tell me to face it she's not coming home, she hates me, and I've lost her forever. All because I didn't like this loser guy that none of her friends like either? And I did what any mother would and told her the truth because I love her? My husband and I fight constantly. He has what he thinks is a relationship with her. I know better. She is keeping him around to pay for the things she needs right now. She's always had a better relationship with dear old dad because he doesn't care to be too involved; turns his head at everything and pretends all is well...when it is not. Anyway this whole thing with my daughter has caused such a backlash in my family, it's turned my other kids against me because I'm so obsessed with trying to reach out to my troubled daughter. They all think I'm nuts, and yes, this situation is making me nuts, but I'm not crazy. I'm depressed, I believe from all that's gone on. But I am very much anything but crazy. I have instincts better than most, and unfortunately am usually right about them. I work a full time job at a medical facility with a lot of pressures and do extremely well. I get along with everyone outside of my family. I have friends, coworkers, and all think I'm the best nicest giving person. But I hate my husband, I hate my home life. It is very difficult to be here, but I have nowhere else to go. House has been for sale for years; not going anywhere in this economy. So we're stuck. Money's an issue because taxes are so high on the home and we have become "house poor", so I don't really have additional funds to talk wtih someone about what I am going through. In fact I tell very few people about the demons in my life. My questons to all of you now, is what do I do? I can't seem to get past the fact that my daughter hates me so much, and I'm not sure I even know why. I've always been there for her and when she was in trouble, I was there to help her then too. I think because I am so right about so many things, she turned away. She moved back with the loser when I found a safe filled with pot pipes , and drug toys. When I confronted her about it, she went ballistic, which to me says it all. But not to my husband. She was arrested last Jan 2011 for having pot possession and paraphanalia, which she said was his. She promised she'd be better and do better, and for a while she wasn't with him so much. But like every controlling loser, he won her back and she's totally brainwashed. He is on probation til May for drug possession. I'm hoping they aren't doing more than pot, but I worry where this will lead. As I said my daughter is still a straight A student. She has only one year to finish her xray tech program and is at the top of her class, so she can't be a drug addict, right? Please help. I've been texting all morning to get an answer. Nothing. I just want to meet her for lunch, coffee, anything, but I haven't talked with her in over two months, and I miss her terribly. This is not what I envisioned and now I feel I have noone to talk to, to vent to, to help me. Thanks guys :( [/QUOTE]
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