Yes Dotty we do get it, several things in this thread have hit very close to home - not just with what happened with my mom but with my children's X father. More important with ME
What is going on inside your head right now is very similar to what I was living with 1997-2000 - it was a miracle I survived, my son woke everyday with the fear I wouldn't wake up. Now that he is adult we talk about this stuff.
I wish I had read Star's last post 15 years ago; could have saved myself so many hours of therapy & AD medication trials. Though back then I didn't have internet and Angel was still perfect so didn't know sites like this existed.
Dotty I said it before you are stuck in "right now" you can't go back and fix the past so we need to figure out a way to get you on the path forward toward recovery. Your daughter is on a different path right now and you need to get yourself thru the recovery portion before your path and hers can join together successfully.
You've done good so far taking first step. Dotty here you have Star, MidwestMom & Me (Nancy) - 3 internet friends all rooting for you! If later you want to expand circle of friends the internet has a billion more possible candidates.
Next baby step - speaking to a live human about this - Many times I've called the crisis hotline and talked to them for hours; it was kind of evil of me because I knew they were trapped and had to make sure I was OK before got me off their phone and I definitely was not ok so that poor person was trapped. (stop tapping your foot Star I said hotline not 911)
Next step - face to face human contact - Therapist, support group, church/minister, neighbor for coffee...
Every journey begins with a single step you took that first step quit trying to see the end of the path and lift your foot ...
