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thanks for the numbers star.I called and was told I had the wrong number after I explained everything so she gave me the number to the crisis center in my area and I called that number again I was told that it really wasn't the right place to call so there's my answer there's no hope lol. but seriously thanks I have an appointment with a psychiatrist next week but no magic pills cure what ails me. do I needa talk therapist and where do I find an excellent for that  with money being an issue.what about the lawyer  should I get 1 for monday


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