Dotty you say no one understands but some of us really do. You are not the most horrible mother on earth or you wouldnt feel this way.
I had an absolutely abusive mother. She started from the time I was an infant teaching me to not be able to trust her for unconditional love. She would be my friend one day and my worst enemy the next. I dodged flying objects all the time. I could never tell anyone. No one would believe me because she put on such a good front. I was sexually abused when I was 3 or 4 and she told me I was never to talk about it and it would just fade from my thoughts. It didnt. She sang me songs telling me that she didnt love me. She always did really crazy things. She beat me, screamed at me, belittled me, told me she wished I had never been born, told me that I would never be civilized, told me that when she was pregnant that she had fibroids and she wasnt sure which she brought home from the hospital...the tumors or the baby, she told me that I was responsible for every bad thing that every bad thing that happened in her life. When I was 14, she told me I couldnt have boys over to sit in the family room, they had to go in my bedroom with the door shut. She also said I should have sex with them. She bore a hole in the coat closet so she could watch while this took place. She threatened me constantly with sending me to jail.
That is a bad mother....and I still didnt leave her. It did take me until I was in my mid 30's to get the strength to cut my ties down to only visiting on holidays. Because I am an only child I ended up having to take care of her when she ended up with alzheimers in her 70's. Her most fervent wish for me was for me to grow up and become homeless and live under a bridge. When I got a pretty good job, she called just about everyone she could to tell them just how horrible I was. Thankfully no one listened. And when I say everyone, I am talking about everyone from the President of the US all the way down to the Director of the agency I worked for. I still have some of the letters she wrote. They did hurt me horribly.
I have to say that some of her parenting techniques did rub off on me because I had no other role model. I am an only child and my kids father's mother is dead. I did see families on TV shows and I knew I wanted to be more like them but they really arent "real" families. I did my best but I also had hard kids. I made some horrible mistakes and I later found out I had bipolar. Thankfully my kids had a really good father to sort of even out when I went off the wall.
My kids have forgiven me for my issues when they were younger. Actually they think we had a pretty good life back then even if I did yell a lot.
Your daughter has nothing to complain about. Parents arent perfect and kids dont get to expect they will be. I actually miss my mom now that she is gone. At least you are still around.
Star has a point. You are alive and healthy. Put your daughter on the back burner for now and think about you for now. Of course you wont just forget her but you can take 15 minutes a day to worry about her then put that in a box in your mind...or even really write it down and put it in a real box..then go about your day. Find something to make you smile. Learn something new. Go see something you have always wanted to see. Read a good book. Make a garden.
As far as court, I dont think you need a lawyer. Print out all those facebook pages and take them with you. That should show the judge what you are dealing with. Your daughter is confessing to assault and battery right out there in the open. They could arrest her in the courtroom if they so desired. As far as her personal items, take them with you to court and ask the bailiff to hand them over to them. Be done with them. Dont have anymore contact with them at all. Its over for now.
You simply have to let this be.
