Well I guess they have their protocol------and limited resources. What a lovely agency. HOWEVER - since they've directed you to NAMI - I would keep a record of times and dates and names of all these places you've called and SHOW the judge that you've tried to get help and counseling. AS WELL AS the FB pages that Janet suggested to print out - which is an excellent idea - and perhaps the judge would have an idea of better resources for you. NAMI would be a good place to call and of course your priest is another excellent resource.
I don't understand why you would feel like an idiot. Do you realize how brave, courageous and strong you have to be to be hurting like you are and obviously getting (yet more suggestions that turn out to be leads not help) and I can see where you would feel like it's more rejection but it's not - it's just a path to wellness.......and YOU on your OWN have kept going despite feeling like you do? To me? That's not an idiot. That's a very smart person that is able to put aside a lot of emotional trauma and baggage, keep going, and says "I don't care what you throw in my way this time.......I AM GOING TO FIX MYSELF - because I see the prize at the end and NO ONE is keeping me from it.......NO ONE." You're a regular Mother bear girl. GOOD FOR YOU. And you are the one that kept saying you thought you were a bad Mom? Phooey. You have determination and drive and eventually? I'm telling you, this is all going to seem like one bad dream, which YOU wake from and think - WHAT was I doing wanting to stay there, trying to do THAT? I feel so much better. And I did it on my OWN.
That's not the mark of an idiot - that's the mark of a smart person wanting to make herself smarter. in my humble opinion
KEEP TRYING! I haven't met the person you're fighting for? But even the one I know now? I think is very special. 
