Thanks Star, but it still doesn't change the fact that my daughter hates me and texted her dad today that she wants to stay away from our f....d up family and there is really no point in her meeting with her dad because she is going through with the court case with Bozo.....I just don't see the prize at the end of the rainbow. Sure I can work on me and being able to live without her in my life, but it doesn't change the fact that she chose not to be in my life. It doesn't change the fact that there will always be this HUGE hold in my heart. And the fact that we never even got to discuss it or communicate about it. No one is guaranteed tomorrows and if either of us die tomorrow, I hate the way things are and the way they have been left. There's just so much I want to tell her, so much I want to talk to her about what went wrong and why we are here. I don't understand how she can turn her back on her entire family for a boy who such trash 
I just don't believe she will ever forgive me, or want me in her life again because I saw the hatred in her eyes just before she punched me in the face. I can't help but feel I'm the parent and I was supposed to be better and now allow this to happen and because it has it's all my fault. If I had only accepted this loser and pretended to like him or accept her choices, who knows...they may have been over. Now my stubborn daughter will marry him just to spite me and try to prove a point. That's just who she is, unfortunately, but I didn't make her that way. Keep me in your prayers. Even if I fix me, she'll never give me the chance to prove I've changed and am willing to be the mom she wanted. I don't think anyone could be what she wanted because a perfect parent doesn't exist. I see the mothers who have good loving relationships with their daughters and I can't help but feel like a failure. Fixing me might be good for me, but it won't change what is, and it certainly won't make my daughter like me any. God bless all of you, and thanks for your support.
