You r spot on Star. I don't have anyone to hug me or give me support and I do feel so unwanted so unloved so I figure it just must be me. I even went to my husband and asked if we cd seek counseling to help us. He said no too late doesn't love me and Hes sorry. My kids are grown with lives of their own. Even the two that still live at home don't want to b part of my pity party and don't want to hear about their sister...bc she's gone.
I do need to talk with someone. My life is not what I'd hope it wd b ay my age. I have an unhappy marriage financial pressures and no support noone to talk to or give me hugs. Everyone needs to feel Love and appreciation. I dont remember Tue last time I laughed or had a good time....its been that long.
I have an apptmt next week w a psychiatrist who will prolly prescribe medications to take the edge off but medications won't fix me right? Where can I talk to someone where it don't cost a lot. I don't have money to spare...truly that's an issue for me but I want to b happy and at least content.
As for my daughter and all my kids, i just expected their Love and friendship forever I guess. I assumed we shd have this mother kid bond and they'd b there for me like I was always for them. Not happening. They prolly think I'm pathetic...theyv told me that actually...
Yep I wanted to fix things with my daughter, even my husband but I know u can't make someone love u. I have no thoughts of ending my life but i often feel sad when I think that if I died who wd really even care. That noone wd really miss me because I don't have a strong relationship with any of my kids or the man iv neen married to for 26 years. Iv only known this life. No matter what. The fact that it wasn't the best marriage or happiest time its all I knew. The unknown can b so much scarier than the unknown.
I needed a friend. My daughters 22 almost and I wanted her in my life as a compassionate friend Where we cd b there for each other. Mothers and daughters r supposed to b like that right? They r supppsed to have tlhat special bond not side with a loser boyfriend who wants to destroy u. That's my life and yes it sux. I'm trying to fix everything but can't fix anything at all. So this is my life....day after day...alone with a houseful of people. Sad i know.
Havent contacted my daughter in 5 days! Still fight everyday not to text her to make her feel guilty about how she treats me but never got response anyway. Court Monday. Wish me luck. Thanks for ur prayers. Hugs to all of you.
