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Need help, advise. Sibling abuse
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<blockquote data-quote="Sparrowmonkey" data-source="post: 721827" data-attributes="member: 22395"><p>So we found out inappropriate things have been going on in our house. I'm heart broken, confused, scared. Totally not prepared to deal with this. It all came out when my oldest confided in a friend, who told her mom, who told me. He admitted everything, and said he's glad we know. He just turned 17. 2 of the other kids involved (11 and 9 ) told us some things, the 3rd, 13, claims nothing ever happened. My 11 year old said it started with the 13 year old getting told things by a friend and wanting to try it. I'm not sure if porn was seen (I know the 13 year old has seen some, we completely got rid of Wi-Fi 2 years ago! This was so not on my radar!). The younger two said bribery was used by my son. This appearently has happened over the past couple years. I never would have imagined since they get along with one another, except for the 13 and 17 year olds who tend to avoid one another...</p><p>This has been reported, almost a month ago. Nothing has happened. My 3 girls were interviewed. I was given referrals for counseling. There was an officer assigned to my son's case but we haven't heard from him since my husband told him, so my son needs a lawyer? My son has not been interviewed. I thought it would be deceitful to interview him, then arrest him since he's clearly ready to talk and get help. The officer kept telling me he isn't a minor and in NY 16 year olds are charged as adults for this. I want help for my son (and some kind of punishment), but I do not think incarcerating him with adults is going to help him at all.</p><p>My husband is worried if we seek counseling for any of them it will all be used against my son. I think we need to do something but I've no idea who to speak to.</p><p>Not sure if the police are going to show up soon, or what. CPS doesn't get involved unless someone over 18 was aware of abuse and did nothing. The kids are no longer left alone together. I don't even shower unless my husband is home. We have also been reading and talking about a lot of personal safety, your body is yours, and some secrets are bad etc. We have 4 other children in the home.</p><p>I was told for counseling my son would have to do an assessment ($850!) before our insurance would cover anything for him. </p><p>I'm looking for advice, thoughts, prayers, help. We haven't told anyone. The family of the friend my son confided in has broken all contact with us.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Sparrowmonkey, post: 721827, member: 22395"] So we found out inappropriate things have been going on in our house. I'm heart broken, confused, scared. Totally not prepared to deal with this. It all came out when my oldest confided in a friend, who told her mom, who told me. He admitted everything, and said he's glad we know. He just turned 17. 2 of the other kids involved (11 and 9 ) told us some things, the 3rd, 13, claims nothing ever happened. My 11 year old said it started with the 13 year old getting told things by a friend and wanting to try it. I'm not sure if porn was seen (I know the 13 year old has seen some, we completely got rid of Wi-Fi 2 years ago! This was so not on my radar!). The younger two said bribery was used by my son. This appearently has happened over the past couple years. I never would have imagined since they get along with one another, except for the 13 and 17 year olds who tend to avoid one another... This has been reported, almost a month ago. Nothing has happened. My 3 girls were interviewed. I was given referrals for counseling. There was an officer assigned to my son's case but we haven't heard from him since my husband told him, so my son needs a lawyer? My son has not been interviewed. I thought it would be deceitful to interview him, then arrest him since he's clearly ready to talk and get help. The officer kept telling me he isn't a minor and in NY 16 year olds are charged as adults for this. I want help for my son (and some kind of punishment), but I do not think incarcerating him with adults is going to help him at all. My husband is worried if we seek counseling for any of them it will all be used against my son. I think we need to do something but I've no idea who to speak to. Not sure if the police are going to show up soon, or what. CPS doesn't get involved unless someone over 18 was aware of abuse and did nothing. The kids are no longer left alone together. I don't even shower unless my husband is home. We have also been reading and talking about a lot of personal safety, your body is yours, and some secrets are bad etc. We have 4 other children in the home. I was told for counseling my son would have to do an assessment ($850!) before our insurance would cover anything for him. I'm looking for advice, thoughts, prayers, help. We haven't told anyone. The family of the friend my son confided in has broken all contact with us. [/QUOTE]
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