Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Need help with Plan B
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Second Time Around" data-source="post: 688446" data-attributes="member: 18739"><p>My youngest step son has the same problem although he much better than he used to be. For him, it is part of his bipolar disorder, although he has traits that make me think he also has undiagnosed autism as well, but I can't convince anyone else in the family of it. </p><p></p><p>For him, it wasn't about attention or control, but something to soothe his anxiety and bipolar boredom and Aspie obsession. Then he would become fixated on buying something that was going to be the magic thing that would make him feel good again. He would get really agitated and talk constantly for days about the desired object. He wanted to get it NOW. If we used any stalling tactics like saying we would think about it, he would continue to obsess until he got a final yes or no answer. If it was yes, he was deliriously happy, we were the most wonderful parents in the world! That would last a few weeks or sometimes just a few days and then he was no longer interested in it and started obsessing about the next thing he wanted to buy. Several times he sold expensive electronics that he had recently bought with birthday money for just a few dollars because he wanted the money immediately for his next obsession. We worked really hard to limit gifts to things he couldn't sell, but family members weren't always cooperative.</p><p></p><p>If the answer was no, he would fly into a violent rage, screaming, crying, complaining that we were persecuting him and often physical violence that would last for several hours. He would be out of sorts and yell at us for several days. Then it would be like a switch was flipped and he would light up and start talking about his next obsession.</p><p></p><p>YEARS of therapy and changes of tactics on our part did NOTHING to change this. He still has very little self awareness or personal insight. Any bad mood is blamed on some external factor or someone else's behavior. However, these behaviors were greatly reduced three years ago when he was finally diagnosed with bipolar disorder and placed on a combination of lithium and antipsychotics. He has occasional flair ups, but only a few times a year instead of a few times a week. </p><p></p><p>So based our experience, my advice would be to figure out what is behind her behavior. Is it entitlement and manipulation, which can be changed by changing strategies on your part - delaying, removing yourselves when she acts out, so there is no reward. However, if you think it might be a brain imbalance or mood disorder, extensive testing and possibly medication will be needed to change this dynamic. </p><p></p><p>I feel for you. We went through 12 years of hell before things changed.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Second Time Around, post: 688446, member: 18739"] My youngest step son has the same problem although he much better than he used to be. For him, it is part of his bipolar disorder, although he has traits that make me think he also has undiagnosed autism as well, but I can't convince anyone else in the family of it. For him, it wasn't about attention or control, but something to soothe his anxiety and bipolar boredom and Aspie obsession. Then he would become fixated on buying something that was going to be the magic thing that would make him feel good again. He would get really agitated and talk constantly for days about the desired object. He wanted to get it NOW. If we used any stalling tactics like saying we would think about it, he would continue to obsess until he got a final yes or no answer. If it was yes, he was deliriously happy, we were the most wonderful parents in the world! That would last a few weeks or sometimes just a few days and then he was no longer interested in it and started obsessing about the next thing he wanted to buy. Several times he sold expensive electronics that he had recently bought with birthday money for just a few dollars because he wanted the money immediately for his next obsession. We worked really hard to limit gifts to things he couldn't sell, but family members weren't always cooperative. If the answer was no, he would fly into a violent rage, screaming, crying, complaining that we were persecuting him and often physical violence that would last for several hours. He would be out of sorts and yell at us for several days. Then it would be like a switch was flipped and he would light up and start talking about his next obsession. YEARS of therapy and changes of tactics on our part did NOTHING to change this. He still has very little self awareness or personal insight. Any bad mood is blamed on some external factor or someone else's behavior. However, these behaviors were greatly reduced three years ago when he was finally diagnosed with bipolar disorder and placed on a combination of lithium and antipsychotics. He has occasional flair ups, but only a few times a year instead of a few times a week. So based our experience, my advice would be to figure out what is behind her behavior. Is it entitlement and manipulation, which can be changed by changing strategies on your part - delaying, removing yourselves when she acts out, so there is no reward. However, if you think it might be a brain imbalance or mood disorder, extensive testing and possibly medication will be needed to change this dynamic. I feel for you. We went through 12 years of hell before things changed. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Need help with Plan B
Top