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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 752314" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Great news about your trip.</p><p></p><p>I agree with Busy and RN.</p><p></p><p>The only other idea I can think of is you getting 5 different prepaid Visa cards. 4 of them would be for each week of groceries and household expenses, the 5th for her gas money. All 5 of them go in an envelope. Each card in black sharpie has the purpose/time frame of the expenditure, and the amount of money on it. Your husband can hold the envelope and hand her each card sequentially for food money at the beginning of each week.</p><p></p><p>This systems would be a hybrid approach. She would have the guidance of dividing the money into quarters. She would have free choice in how she spent each week's money. Any mismanagement would become apparent as the month progressed.</p><p></p><p>As far as her blowing her gas money. You could, I guess, get 4 different prepaid cards for each week of gas. But why? There would be pros and cons.</p><p></p><p>Our goal is that our children learn and grow. To learn and grow they need some freedom to try. If she blows her gas money, she will be the one who suffers. She will be unable to go to school. If she wants to go to school, she will not blow her gas money. If she does blow the money, maybe school for her is not in the cards. We can't grow our children up for them. However difficult we must allow for risk. Which entails the possibility of poor choices.</p><p></p><p>Alternatively, you could buy 4 gas cards, one for each week, and have your husband hand these out. But where would be the guarantee she used each one for gas? Unless your husband stood over her at the gas station. To me there would be more risk with this kind of micro-managing. Your daughter has to have some possibility to do things right (as well as wrong.)</p><p></p><p>I am in the same position with my own son. It is very, very hard.</p><p></p><p>I do give him free rein. He is older. But I am so tense and afraid, I end up anticipating his doing the wrong thing,<em> and saying it. </em> Which I guess is the worst possible thing to do. For me handling my anxiety and fear about what more bad stuff will happen (he will do), is the hardest challenge.</p><p></p><p>We'll miss you while you're on your trip.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 752314, member: 18958"] Great news about your trip. I agree with Busy and RN. The only other idea I can think of is you getting 5 different prepaid Visa cards. 4 of them would be for each week of groceries and household expenses, the 5th for her gas money. All 5 of them go in an envelope. Each card in black sharpie has the purpose/time frame of the expenditure, and the amount of money on it. Your husband can hold the envelope and hand her each card sequentially for food money at the beginning of each week. This systems would be a hybrid approach. She would have the guidance of dividing the money into quarters. She would have free choice in how she spent each week's money. Any mismanagement would become apparent as the month progressed. As far as her blowing her gas money. You could, I guess, get 4 different prepaid cards for each week of gas. But why? There would be pros and cons. Our goal is that our children learn and grow. To learn and grow they need some freedom to try. If she blows her gas money, she will be the one who suffers. She will be unable to go to school. If she wants to go to school, she will not blow her gas money. If she does blow the money, maybe school for her is not in the cards. We can't grow our children up for them. However difficult we must allow for risk. Which entails the possibility of poor choices. Alternatively, you could buy 4 gas cards, one for each week, and have your husband hand these out. But where would be the guarantee she used each one for gas? Unless your husband stood over her at the gas station. To me there would be more risk with this kind of micro-managing. Your daughter has to have some possibility to do things right (as well as wrong.) I am in the same position with my own son. It is very, very hard. I do give him free rein. He is older. But I am so tense and afraid, I end up anticipating his doing the wrong thing,[I] and saying it. [/I] Which I guess is the worst possible thing to do. For me handling my anxiety and fear about what more bad stuff will happen (he will do), is the hardest challenge. We'll miss you while you're on your trip. [/QUOTE]
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