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<blockquote data-quote="tryingtobestrong" data-source="post: 751904" data-attributes="member: 22817"><p>I am back in that position again where I feel like I am enabling. I feel like I don't have anywhere to turn. His eye is swollen shut, purple and blue which is bruising and he is coughing up blood and when he blows his nose there is blood. Yesterday, he lashed out because he is tired of everyone saying he should go to the ER to get looked at. Said he has no money for that and is still paying on all of the other ER copays from the past year. (went about 6 times due to alcohol withdrawals and wanting medications for it but then went right back to drinking) We did not offer to pay those ER copays of $250 each because we felt we have and are doing enough by paying the insurance deductibles of $2000 in network and $5000 out of network)</p><p>They say not to shame them or quilt them and this is where I have a difficult time. So he lashed out at me yesterday saying he has no money to go to the ER and how I must feel like an awesome person suggesting that when he has .48 left in his savings account... I replied "how do you pay for booze then?" That didn't go over. Told me he spent the last of his money on booze.</p><p>We offered to pay for the ER copay this time. I also reminded him that the other 6 times were due to alcohol and I got "You don't need to remind me that i am trash, I know that myself"</p><p>I just don't get it. After all he has been through with medical bills, after knowing he can't afford to miss work or he can't pay his rent , he still turns to booze, weed, etc.</p><p>We refuse to help with his rent and I am going to send the links to him with numbers to call for assistance. I don't know exactly how that will work but it is worth a try.</p><p>He is also down to one pair of glasses. He literally is blind without them so it is not good that he has no spares. This weighs no me terribly. Even if life just happens and it is not due to his alcohol use and the spare breaks he won't be able to work because he can't see. So, now I feel like I need to pay for a spare set of glasses. </p><p>I shouldn't feel this way. </p><p>I can't tell him how we feel- that he is going to be 25 and that he needs to stop wasting money on booze, tattoos, items that are way above his means,etc. but he won't care. He will turn it back to how he knows he is trash.</p><p>After all the counseling, treatment, etc., he still does it his way....</p><p>I guess you all understand and are just as frustrated as us.</p><p>We are told not to enable them. I just don't know where to draw the line.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="tryingtobestrong, post: 751904, member: 22817"] I am back in that position again where I feel like I am enabling. I feel like I don't have anywhere to turn. His eye is swollen shut, purple and blue which is bruising and he is coughing up blood and when he blows his nose there is blood. Yesterday, he lashed out because he is tired of everyone saying he should go to the ER to get looked at. Said he has no money for that and is still paying on all of the other ER copays from the past year. (went about 6 times due to alcohol withdrawals and wanting medications for it but then went right back to drinking) We did not offer to pay those ER copays of $250 each because we felt we have and are doing enough by paying the insurance deductibles of $2000 in network and $5000 out of network) They say not to shame them or quilt them and this is where I have a difficult time. So he lashed out at me yesterday saying he has no money to go to the ER and how I must feel like an awesome person suggesting that when he has .48 left in his savings account... I replied "how do you pay for booze then?" That didn't go over. Told me he spent the last of his money on booze. We offered to pay for the ER copay this time. I also reminded him that the other 6 times were due to alcohol and I got "You don't need to remind me that i am trash, I know that myself" I just don't get it. After all he has been through with medical bills, after knowing he can't afford to miss work or he can't pay his rent , he still turns to booze, weed, etc. We refuse to help with his rent and I am going to send the links to him with numbers to call for assistance. I don't know exactly how that will work but it is worth a try. He is also down to one pair of glasses. He literally is blind without them so it is not good that he has no spares. This weighs no me terribly. Even if life just happens and it is not due to his alcohol use and the spare breaks he won't be able to work because he can't see. So, now I feel like I need to pay for a spare set of glasses. I shouldn't feel this way. I can't tell him how we feel- that he is going to be 25 and that he needs to stop wasting money on booze, tattoos, items that are way above his means,etc. but he won't care. He will turn it back to how he knows he is trash. After all the counseling, treatment, etc., he still does it his way.... I guess you all understand and are just as frustrated as us. We are told not to enable them. I just don't know where to draw the line. [/QUOTE]
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