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<blockquote data-quote="JayPee" data-source="post: 751907" data-attributes="member: 23405"><p>I’m so sorry for all your heartache. You are worrying so much that you are breaking your own heart. I know because that seems to be my MO too. </p><p></p><p>In my experience it it only by leaning on God that you’ll get through this. Really turning our focus on God. By doing this i know I’m able to give Him all my worries and anxieties. When I do this (repeatedly) I can tell my mind to stop trying to figure out all the answers. </p><p></p><p>Keep remembering you didn’t cause, you can’t control and you can’t cure his addictions. </p><p></p><p>I also saw you mentioned that your son may have been triggered due to the death of his step brother. In Al anon someone told me (my ex of 30 years brought me there) that an alcoholic will find reason to drink even over an untied shoelace. That is the truth! </p><p></p><p>Remember you are powerless over this. Surround yourself with a good support group ( and if you were and stopped) get back into it. I tend to go into freeze mode in crisis until someone snaps me out of it and reminds me to pick up my tool box. For me that’s first and foremost prayer and trust in God, my Higher Power, surrounding myself with my support groups and or a friend or family member who will encourage me with the values and limits I know I need to put and keep in place and then practice those. Read a good book on enabling or the detachment info posted on this forum. </p><p></p><p>I’m sure you know all these things but I often need reminding because again I tend to freeze up with anxiety and worry. </p><p></p><p>You’re giving all your control over to your son when the ONLY person you can change in this situation is yourself and how you deal with it. We tend to react to the addict. That is exhausting. Choose instead how you will act. </p><p></p><p>Take control of your spinning worries, thoughts and dread of what might happen. </p><p></p><p>I Will be praying for you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="JayPee, post: 751907, member: 23405"] I’m so sorry for all your heartache. You are worrying so much that you are breaking your own heart. I know because that seems to be my MO too. In my experience it it only by leaning on God that you’ll get through this. Really turning our focus on God. By doing this i know I’m able to give Him all my worries and anxieties. When I do this (repeatedly) I can tell my mind to stop trying to figure out all the answers. Keep remembering you didn’t cause, you can’t control and you can’t cure his addictions. I also saw you mentioned that your son may have been triggered due to the death of his step brother. In Al anon someone told me (my ex of 30 years brought me there) that an alcoholic will find reason to drink even over an untied shoelace. That is the truth! Remember you are powerless over this. Surround yourself with a good support group ( and if you were and stopped) get back into it. I tend to go into freeze mode in crisis until someone snaps me out of it and reminds me to pick up my tool box. For me that’s first and foremost prayer and trust in God, my Higher Power, surrounding myself with my support groups and or a friend or family member who will encourage me with the values and limits I know I need to put and keep in place and then practice those. Read a good book on enabling or the detachment info posted on this forum. I’m sure you know all these things but I often need reminding because again I tend to freeze up with anxiety and worry. You’re giving all your control over to your son when the ONLY person you can change in this situation is yourself and how you deal with it. We tend to react to the addict. That is exhausting. Choose instead how you will act. Take control of your spinning worries, thoughts and dread of what might happen. I Will be praying for you. [/QUOTE]
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