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<blockquote data-quote="GoingNorth" data-source="post: 724816" data-attributes="member: 1963"><p>In general, my take on it is that if he's in your house he follows your house rules or he gets out. You cannot stop him from doing whatever outside of the home, but you can refuse to allow him in your house if he's high/drunk. Smoking tobacco is one war you won't win. Refuse to allow it in your house and require that he store his dirty clothing in something sealed so the smell doesn't permeate your house.</p><p></p><p>As regards the worrying, it's normal, but you can't kill yourself worrying and losing sleep. He is an adult now. Set house rules and insist he conform to them or leave. Expecting an adult to follow "rules" on how he comports himself away from your home is slightly ridiculous. However, if he is driving a vehicle that has your name on it in anyway, (ins. title, loan, etc) stop that immediately. Selling the car is a good idea. </p><p></p><p>I also disagree with the notion that parents somehow have to buy cars for their children. I bought my first car at 16. I'd been saving since I was 13. It was a 69 VW Squareback that I rebuilt the engine on. My parents paid for 6 mos of auto insurance for me as a b-day gift. After that I was on my own. Of course I was working, and had my GED.</p><p></p><p>If he doesn't have a car, he can walk or ride a bike to work. I rode a bike until I got my first car. (Started work at 14) Having a car enabled me to get a better job at the bottom rung of what became my career in IT, but the bike was fine to get the 4 miles to K-Mart.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="GoingNorth, post: 724816, member: 1963"] In general, my take on it is that if he's in your house he follows your house rules or he gets out. You cannot stop him from doing whatever outside of the home, but you can refuse to allow him in your house if he's high/drunk. Smoking tobacco is one war you won't win. Refuse to allow it in your house and require that he store his dirty clothing in something sealed so the smell doesn't permeate your house. As regards the worrying, it's normal, but you can't kill yourself worrying and losing sleep. He is an adult now. Set house rules and insist he conform to them or leave. Expecting an adult to follow "rules" on how he comports himself away from your home is slightly ridiculous. However, if he is driving a vehicle that has your name on it in anyway, (ins. title, loan, etc) stop that immediately. Selling the car is a good idea. I also disagree with the notion that parents somehow have to buy cars for their children. I bought my first car at 16. I'd been saving since I was 13. It was a 69 VW Squareback that I rebuilt the engine on. My parents paid for 6 mos of auto insurance for me as a b-day gift. After that I was on my own. Of course I was working, and had my GED. If he doesn't have a car, he can walk or ride a bike to work. I rode a bike until I got my first car. (Started work at 14) Having a car enabled me to get a better job at the bottom rung of what became my career in IT, but the bike was fine to get the 4 miles to K-Mart. [/QUOTE]
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