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Parent Emeritus
Need some stiffening of the backbone...or open to opinions of the group
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 651660" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Oh Echo. First, I'm sorry for this new change in things. I don't know about you, but change is hard with our dcs. Any change. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I remember when I was relieved when he was back in jail. Are you feeling any relief? When he was in jail, I would know he had three squares, a place to sleep and wasn't able to use drugs. For me, that was good. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>My son has gotten a public defender X times---multiple times---from jail. So not sure what he is talking about there. No money, nobody paying for a lawyer, they appoint one. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Right. Let the system work. You don't have to do a single thing. Your ex may take action and the courts might, but you don't have to do anything. In fact, that would be my best advice right now. Do nothing. Set boundaries about the calls. Tell him he can call ____ at ___ p.m. Whatever you think. And if you see the jail number flash up at another time, don't answer it. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I'm not sure you need to know the facts of it all right now. What does it really matter? I always assumed, and I believe rightly most of the time, that my son was doing something he should not have been doing when he got arrested. the ins and outs of it were almost irrelevant to me, in time. </p><p></p><p>Knowing him, it's highly unlikely that he caused this. Perhaps he got caught up in something and he's guilty by association. Either way, he is safe, and off the streets right now. Perhaps he will get treatment there. My son got antidepresssants in jail and actually took them. </p><p></p><p>Perhaps he will talk with his PD and negotiate for mental health treatment instead of jail time, and then he will have to do it or go back to jail.</p><p></p><p>that would be really good, I think. </p><p></p><p>I know this is upsetting, and of course, you don't know what his dad will decide to do. For you, you can breathe again. He's somewhere. I think that is a good thing. </p><p></p><p>how are YOU today? I hope you can go for a good long run and clear your head. Perhaps something good will happen here. Something new is happening, and there is a chance for change.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 651660, member: 17542"] Oh Echo. First, I'm sorry for this new change in things. I don't know about you, but change is hard with our dcs. Any change. I remember when I was relieved when he was back in jail. Are you feeling any relief? When he was in jail, I would know he had three squares, a place to sleep and wasn't able to use drugs. For me, that was good. My son has gotten a public defender X times---multiple times---from jail. So not sure what he is talking about there. No money, nobody paying for a lawyer, they appoint one. Right. Let the system work. You don't have to do a single thing. Your ex may take action and the courts might, but you don't have to do anything. In fact, that would be my best advice right now. Do nothing. Set boundaries about the calls. Tell him he can call ____ at ___ p.m. Whatever you think. And if you see the jail number flash up at another time, don't answer it. I'm not sure you need to know the facts of it all right now. What does it really matter? I always assumed, and I believe rightly most of the time, that my son was doing something he should not have been doing when he got arrested. the ins and outs of it were almost irrelevant to me, in time. Knowing him, it's highly unlikely that he caused this. Perhaps he got caught up in something and he's guilty by association. Either way, he is safe, and off the streets right now. Perhaps he will get treatment there. My son got antidepresssants in jail and actually took them. Perhaps he will talk with his PD and negotiate for mental health treatment instead of jail time, and then he will have to do it or go back to jail. that would be really good, I think. I know this is upsetting, and of course, you don't know what his dad will decide to do. For you, you can breathe again. He's somewhere. I think that is a good thing. how are YOU today? I hope you can go for a good long run and clear your head. Perhaps something good will happen here. Something new is happening, and there is a chance for change. [/QUOTE]
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Need some stiffening of the backbone...or open to opinions of the group
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