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Special Ed 101
Need to make a school decision for my son
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<blockquote data-quote="Frieda" data-source="post: 713769" data-attributes="member: 18242"><p>My thoughts might differ a bit from above posters.But I do agree that something needs to happen to keep your kid of his current trajectory, especially with adolescence looming. However I also strongly believe that there is not one parenting method that fits all kids (or all parents) and while consequences /punishments might work for some kids, it might cause other kids to become worse. </p><p>I have a daughter who is basically a good kid but has had some past issues with stealing and sneaky behavior, the only thing that have worked for her are consequences. My son is a different story- he needed a ton of advocacy to get appropriate services in school, he needs teaching and fresh starts and for us to believe in him even on the days where he messes up. He has a learning disability as well and I remember him having given up on himself by 4th grade and acting in all kinds of socially inappropriate ways. I think it is pretty common for kids with learning disability to feel such deep shame that they decide that they will rather be seen as bad and lazy than stupid. We did a Orton Gillingham based method (we used Sonday which is similar to Windsor) and he learned to read and is now doing very well academically in high school. He has also been improving socially. He is also on the autism spectrum, so he will always have his social challenges. For a while he would just say he was a bad kid but I have always let him know that he is good and that we can work through any challenge. If all I would have done is give him escalating consequences for his behaviors, I would have lost him. It is not the way he learns. </p><p>I do not know your child and just the descriptions of his behaviors do not really tell me why he is doing what he is doing. You might be unsure on what the right route is but you know your kid best and I encourage you to trust your instinct in your child. Is he a kid who seems to feel and do better when you impose clear boundaries and consequences or is he a kid who does best when you approach him with a open heart and mind and a "You are having a hard time, what's up?" discussion and problem solving. </p><p>I do agree with you that he needs an academic approach to address his dyslexia. You could press on public schools but even with an advocate I think this is already too far gone for them to address his academic needs in a timely manner. If you can afford it, the private school sounds like a better solution to me. After feeling like the stupid kid for so long it might be a relief for your son to not be 'the worst' kid in class and he should be able to transfer back into a mainstream school in a few year. Have him tour with you and see what he thinks.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Frieda, post: 713769, member: 18242"] My thoughts might differ a bit from above posters.But I do agree that something needs to happen to keep your kid of his current trajectory, especially with adolescence looming. However I also strongly believe that there is not one parenting method that fits all kids (or all parents) and while consequences /punishments might work for some kids, it might cause other kids to become worse. I have a daughter who is basically a good kid but has had some past issues with stealing and sneaky behavior, the only thing that have worked for her are consequences. My son is a different story- he needed a ton of advocacy to get appropriate services in school, he needs teaching and fresh starts and for us to believe in him even on the days where he messes up. He has a learning disability as well and I remember him having given up on himself by 4th grade and acting in all kinds of socially inappropriate ways. I think it is pretty common for kids with learning disability to feel such deep shame that they decide that they will rather be seen as bad and lazy than stupid. We did a Orton Gillingham based method (we used Sonday which is similar to Windsor) and he learned to read and is now doing very well academically in high school. He has also been improving socially. He is also on the autism spectrum, so he will always have his social challenges. For a while he would just say he was a bad kid but I have always let him know that he is good and that we can work through any challenge. If all I would have done is give him escalating consequences for his behaviors, I would have lost him. It is not the way he learns. I do not know your child and just the descriptions of his behaviors do not really tell me why he is doing what he is doing. You might be unsure on what the right route is but you know your kid best and I encourage you to trust your instinct in your child. Is he a kid who seems to feel and do better when you impose clear boundaries and consequences or is he a kid who does best when you approach him with a open heart and mind and a "You are having a hard time, what's up?" discussion and problem solving. I do agree with you that he needs an academic approach to address his dyslexia. You could press on public schools but even with an advocate I think this is already too far gone for them to address his academic needs in a timely manner. If you can afford it, the private school sounds like a better solution to me. After feeling like the stupid kid for so long it might be a relief for your son to not be 'the worst' kid in class and he should be able to transfer back into a mainstream school in a few year. Have him tour with you and see what he thinks. [/QUOTE]
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