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<blockquote data-quote="AKAnnie" data-source="post: 743463" data-attributes="member: 22641"><p>Last night, I cried...hard. I felt...weighty with grief. My youngest never saw or heard; he is my first priority and I would never willingly or knowingly add "badness" to his story (shame, guilt, mortification, etc). Husband just sat near me. He knows I need space in my grief and even so, I very much appreciate his presence. I thought I would read any responses before bed but I just couldn't. I went to bed with a heavy heart.</p><p></p><p>This morning I woke and looked to see. I'm glad I waited as I think I'm more capable of processing with wisdom and a touch more clarity this morning.</p><p></p><p>First - Copa... Wow... Everything you wrote, the time you spent thinking about, articulating, and writing exactly what I need to contemplate and work through - I am humbled and so very grateful. And really that's true of all of you. The time and care and wisdom and commiscerating...it's treasure for me, for us, I think. Makes me wish we could have an annual gathering so we could hug each other, cry and laugh together, then have some much needed fun...even if just a dinner or manicure.</p><p></p><p>You are all right, you know. All of you in your own way. I especially liked the analogy of shark infested waters. That resonates as true because you know the painful zingers are out there but you can never quite anticipate when or how they will strike.</p><p></p><p>I have much to reflect on and journal today. I will write your collective wisdom in my notebook so I can see it and be reminded of this journey I'm on, this rewrite of my story. </p><p></p><p>So, so profoundly grateful to you guys...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="AKAnnie, post: 743463, member: 22641"] Last night, I cried...hard. I felt...weighty with grief. My youngest never saw or heard; he is my first priority and I would never willingly or knowingly add "badness" to his story (shame, guilt, mortification, etc). Husband just sat near me. He knows I need space in my grief and even so, I very much appreciate his presence. I thought I would read any responses before bed but I just couldn't. I went to bed with a heavy heart. This morning I woke and looked to see. I'm glad I waited as I think I'm more capable of processing with wisdom and a touch more clarity this morning. First - Copa... Wow... Everything you wrote, the time you spent thinking about, articulating, and writing exactly what I need to contemplate and work through - I am humbled and so very grateful. And really that's true of all of you. The time and care and wisdom and commiscerating...it's treasure for me, for us, I think. Makes me wish we could have an annual gathering so we could hug each other, cry and laugh together, then have some much needed fun...even if just a dinner or manicure. You are all right, you know. All of you in your own way. I especially liked the analogy of shark infested waters. That resonates as true because you know the painful zingers are out there but you can never quite anticipate when or how they will strike. I have much to reflect on and journal today. I will write your collective wisdom in my notebook so I can see it and be reminded of this journey I'm on, this rewrite of my story. So, so profoundly grateful to you guys... [/QUOTE]
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