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<blockquote data-quote="Elsi" data-source="post: 743482" data-attributes="member: 23349"><p>I agree. As parents we have to be careful not to burden our minor children with responsibility for our decisions or our mental health. Perhaps at some point down the road with a counselor you could explore his feelings about you having contact, so he has the chance to express himself and you have the understanding. But not to put the responsibility of the decision on him. And maybe the time isn’t right for that conversation.</p><p></p><p>I think I would have mixed feelings about having communication with the elder behind the younger’s back. I’m honestly not sure what I would do here. I don’t like lying - if I were asked directly if I’d had any contact I think I would have to be honest. But perhaps, if you do feel the need to establish some kind of communication channel with your older son, it would be kinder to simply not bring it up with your younger. It sounds like that would be difficult for you and I certainly understand that. It doesn’t feel right to hide things. </p><p></p><p>Can your therapist help you navigate this decision and any conversation you would want to have with your youngest?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Elsi, post: 743482, member: 23349"] I agree. As parents we have to be careful not to burden our minor children with responsibility for our decisions or our mental health. Perhaps at some point down the road with a counselor you could explore his feelings about you having contact, so he has the chance to express himself and you have the understanding. But not to put the responsibility of the decision on him. And maybe the time isn’t right for that conversation. I think I would have mixed feelings about having communication with the elder behind the younger’s back. I’m honestly not sure what I would do here. I don’t like lying - if I were asked directly if I’d had any contact I think I would have to be honest. But perhaps, if you do feel the need to establish some kind of communication channel with your older son, it would be kinder to simply not bring it up with your younger. It sounds like that would be difficult for you and I certainly understand that. It doesn’t feel right to hide things. Can your therapist help you navigate this decision and any conversation you would want to have with your youngest? [/QUOTE]
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