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Family of Origin
Never disinherit your kid
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<blockquote data-quote="GoingNorth" data-source="post: 681498" data-attributes="member: 1963"><p>I honored Stu's decision because it was his life and his body and he couldn't be healed. His body was too badly damaged by then and he was in agonizing pain.</p><p></p><p>Deciding to die allowed the doctors to prescribe pain medication in amounts that normally wouldn't be used because of the risk of suppressing breathing. The medications did kill him faster than the illness would've alone, but they kept him from suffering.</p><p></p><p>His father wanted him put back on a respirator "just in case". He could've languished for weeks on a respirator until organ failure killed him. The problem was that Stu had been on a respirator before, and despite the sedation, remembered it. </p><p></p><p>He was terrified of both going back on the vent and of not being allowed to die. So, while he was lucid, he called a meeting of hospital staff, the chaplain, his care team, me, and his immediate family, and HE told them what he was going to do.</p><p></p><p>father in law was furious that I held Stu's full legal and medical POA and didn't over-ride his decision.</p><p></p><p> father in law was in general a right b@stard, and had been cruel to Stu to the point that Stu was sleeping over at our house as a young teen to avoid beatings at his house, which his mother couldn't prevent.</p><p></p><p>We were very close friends for quite a while before we became more than that. </p><p></p><p>The only complaint my parents had was best exemplified by my father's comment on afternoon. "Stu's spending the night again? I better go out and get another chicken." Having only daughters, they were not used to feeding a growing teenaged boy, and even though Stu was short and skinny, he had a truly scary appetite at that age.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="GoingNorth, post: 681498, member: 1963"] I honored Stu's decision because it was his life and his body and he couldn't be healed. His body was too badly damaged by then and he was in agonizing pain. Deciding to die allowed the doctors to prescribe pain medication in amounts that normally wouldn't be used because of the risk of suppressing breathing. The medications did kill him faster than the illness would've alone, but they kept him from suffering. His father wanted him put back on a respirator "just in case". He could've languished for weeks on a respirator until organ failure killed him. The problem was that Stu had been on a respirator before, and despite the sedation, remembered it. He was terrified of both going back on the vent and of not being allowed to die. So, while he was lucid, he called a meeting of hospital staff, the chaplain, his care team, me, and his immediate family, and HE told them what he was going to do. father in law was furious that I held Stu's full legal and medical POA and didn't over-ride his decision. father in law was in general a right b@stard, and had been cruel to Stu to the point that Stu was sleeping over at our house as a young teen to avoid beatings at his house, which his mother couldn't prevent. We were very close friends for quite a while before we became more than that. The only complaint my parents had was best exemplified by my father's comment on afternoon. "Stu's spending the night again? I better go out and get another chicken." Having only daughters, they were not used to feeding a growing teenaged boy, and even though Stu was short and skinny, he had a truly scary appetite at that age. [/QUOTE]
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