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<blockquote data-quote="LJFromOz" data-source="post: 746063" data-attributes="member: 23557"><p>So, the latest development is this: I searched his room for over an hour last night to look for any sign of drugs other than weed. I also looked for evidence of stolen property/anything suspicious at all and came up with nothing. I know that's not definitive, but I had to start somewhere. If I'd found something then we would be having a conversation about next steps - rehab or leave - but I found nothing so I came to a dead end on that front.</p><p></p><p>I stayed up until he got home from work (at just after midnight) and we talked for an hour and a half. We started out just by talking about TV shows we like, because I wanted to have a non-confrontational exchange with him. I didn't really care what it was about. After a while we started talking about what will happen when the family goes away on holidays and he confessed that he was a bit worried about being on his own. He said he felt like his mental state had improved a lot over the past month (I agree with that - it's up and down but better than where he was before Christmas, when he was in a very deep hole.) But he also said that despite the improvement he was still having some quite bad days. </p><p></p><p>We came up with a safety plan for him for while I am away and he seemed quite confident that he would be okay with this plan in place (emergency people to call, planned dinners and stay overs with trusted friends and relatives who have offered to look out for him while we're gone.) He asked if it was okay to have a particular friend stay if he was feeling low and we agreed on that. (This is a friend that we know and trust and as far as I know does not do drugs,although he does drink a little.) He seemed to think that he would continue to improve and that by the time we leave he would be even better than he is now. (I'm not sure if that's true, but I like that he is thinking optimistically because he is usually the opposite.)</p><p></p><p>He is seeing his psychologist on the 6th of Feb and his doctor the same week to reassess his medications - they may increase them. He said he really wants to talk to his psychologist about his tendency to always think of the worst case scenario in every situation. He feels he wastes a lot of energy on things he knows are unlikely to happen but he can't stop worrying about them anyway. He also told me he felt like he hasn't matured at all since he left school (I agree with this but didn't say so - just let him express himself.) He said he was tired of behaving like a child but was finding it hard to move into the adult world.</p><p></p><p>I know all of this is just talk, but his insights into his own behavior did give me a tiny sliver of hope that he may improve eventually.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="LJFromOz, post: 746063, member: 23557"] So, the latest development is this: I searched his room for over an hour last night to look for any sign of drugs other than weed. I also looked for evidence of stolen property/anything suspicious at all and came up with nothing. I know that's not definitive, but I had to start somewhere. If I'd found something then we would be having a conversation about next steps - rehab or leave - but I found nothing so I came to a dead end on that front. I stayed up until he got home from work (at just after midnight) and we talked for an hour and a half. We started out just by talking about TV shows we like, because I wanted to have a non-confrontational exchange with him. I didn't really care what it was about. After a while we started talking about what will happen when the family goes away on holidays and he confessed that he was a bit worried about being on his own. He said he felt like his mental state had improved a lot over the past month (I agree with that - it's up and down but better than where he was before Christmas, when he was in a very deep hole.) But he also said that despite the improvement he was still having some quite bad days. We came up with a safety plan for him for while I am away and he seemed quite confident that he would be okay with this plan in place (emergency people to call, planned dinners and stay overs with trusted friends and relatives who have offered to look out for him while we're gone.) He asked if it was okay to have a particular friend stay if he was feeling low and we agreed on that. (This is a friend that we know and trust and as far as I know does not do drugs,although he does drink a little.) He seemed to think that he would continue to improve and that by the time we leave he would be even better than he is now. (I'm not sure if that's true, but I like that he is thinking optimistically because he is usually the opposite.) He is seeing his psychologist on the 6th of Feb and his doctor the same week to reassess his medications - they may increase them. He said he really wants to talk to his psychologist about his tendency to always think of the worst case scenario in every situation. He feels he wastes a lot of energy on things he knows are unlikely to happen but he can't stop worrying about them anyway. He also told me he felt like he hasn't matured at all since he left school (I agree with this but didn't say so - just let him express himself.) He said he was tired of behaving like a child but was finding it hard to move into the adult world. I know all of this is just talk, but his insights into his own behavior did give me a tiny sliver of hope that he may improve eventually. [/QUOTE]
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