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<blockquote data-quote="meowbunny" data-source="post: 179890" data-attributes="member: 3626"><p>First, I gotta tell you I think you're an awesome mom! You told your son exactly the right thing when he asked why he was so bad. Sometimes it is hard to differentiate our children from their behavior. You are doing this and doing it beautifully.</p><p> </p><p>Many kids move a lot for various reasons -- financial, professional, military, etc. Some kids handle the moves with no problems. Others fall apart. Either way, it is a fact of the families' lives and the kids have to find a way to deal with it. Beating yourself up because you had to move a lot is an exercise in futility. Believe it or not, the big thing is that you loved him and he knew it. The moves may not have been fun but you were there for him throughout. Believe it or not, when he gets older that's what he'll remember and treasure.</p><p> </p><p>I raised my daughter as a single parent. The agreement with my ex was that we would stay married until the adoption was final (I wanted a child, he didn't) but would move out the day after the adoption and have no responsibility for my daughter. That is what he did and I'll be eternally grateful that he made sure I had this wonderful, difficult child in my life. Raising a child as a single parent isn't easy but it is much better than raising a child with someone who resents the child or just isn't cut out for parenthood. Even infants can sense when they're not loved. So, be proud that you did manage to raise him alone. He sounds like he's been a pretty wonderful kid through most of the time you've been kicking yourself for not giving him everything you think he deserves.</p><p> </p><p>Hospitalizing a little one is hard. It is hard when it is for a physical ailment. It is even harder when it is mental -- at least you can see the treatment for the physical. Mental is more difficult. Worse yet, once the initial shock is off, the child frequently seems to enjoy the stay -- no responsibilities, lots of fun stuff, much easier to be the good kid because the stressors aren't on them. So, for the pain in him being there, many, many HUGS.</p><p> </p><p>If possible, see if you can get a neuropsychologist exam started while he is hospitalized. This is really your best chance for an accurate diagnosis. I really don't know much about medications but I would be hesitant to agree to Prozac for one so young.</p><p> </p><p>When you have a chance, get a copy of the book "The Explosive Child." Many of us have found it to be extremely helpful. If nothing else, it gives us a better idea of what is going on in our kids' minds.</p><p> </p><p>For now, know that you really are doing a great job as his mom and, from the sound of it, your husband is doing a good job of being dad (let him, it sounds like he loves both of you a lot). Read as much as you can to find out what might be going on in his mind. Be prepared to fight the school district (A LOT) to get him the help he needs. Don't give up. There truly is a light at the end of the tunnel, sometimes it just seems like there isn't. (Remember, you broke down at 16 and look where you're at today.)</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="meowbunny, post: 179890, member: 3626"] First, I gotta tell you I think you're an awesome mom! You told your son exactly the right thing when he asked why he was so bad. Sometimes it is hard to differentiate our children from their behavior. You are doing this and doing it beautifully. Many kids move a lot for various reasons -- financial, professional, military, etc. Some kids handle the moves with no problems. Others fall apart. Either way, it is a fact of the families' lives and the kids have to find a way to deal with it. Beating yourself up because you had to move a lot is an exercise in futility. Believe it or not, the big thing is that you loved him and he knew it. The moves may not have been fun but you were there for him throughout. Believe it or not, when he gets older that's what he'll remember and treasure. I raised my daughter as a single parent. The agreement with my ex was that we would stay married until the adoption was final (I wanted a child, he didn't) but would move out the day after the adoption and have no responsibility for my daughter. That is what he did and I'll be eternally grateful that he made sure I had this wonderful, difficult child in my life. Raising a child as a single parent isn't easy but it is much better than raising a child with someone who resents the child or just isn't cut out for parenthood. Even infants can sense when they're not loved. So, be proud that you did manage to raise him alone. He sounds like he's been a pretty wonderful kid through most of the time you've been kicking yourself for not giving him everything you think he deserves. Hospitalizing a little one is hard. It is hard when it is for a physical ailment. It is even harder when it is mental -- at least you can see the treatment for the physical. Mental is more difficult. Worse yet, once the initial shock is off, the child frequently seems to enjoy the stay -- no responsibilities, lots of fun stuff, much easier to be the good kid because the stressors aren't on them. So, for the pain in him being there, many, many HUGS. If possible, see if you can get a neuropsychologist exam started while he is hospitalized. This is really your best chance for an accurate diagnosis. I really don't know much about medications but I would be hesitant to agree to Prozac for one so young. When you have a chance, get a copy of the book "The Explosive Child." Many of us have found it to be extremely helpful. If nothing else, it gives us a better idea of what is going on in our kids' minds. For now, know that you really are doing a great job as his mom and, from the sound of it, your husband is doing a good job of being dad (let him, it sounds like he loves both of you a lot). Read as much as you can to find out what might be going on in his mind. Be prepared to fight the school district (A LOT) to get him the help he needs. Don't give up. There truly is a light at the end of the tunnel, sometimes it just seems like there isn't. (Remember, you broke down at 16 and look where you're at today.) [/QUOTE]
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