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<blockquote data-quote="keista" data-source="post: 457767" data-attributes="member: 11965"><p>Just like with anything else, it depends on who "they" are and where "they" are coming from. If it was all your fault, then there should be improvement in his behavior at daycare with "correct" disciplinary techniques - obviously not the case.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Stop and look further. WHY is an adult telling him to do something, triggering him? Is it they way they are asking? Is it interrupting his current activity? Is he understanding WHY he needs to do what he needs to do? And I'm not posing these questions from a "DUH", usual answer perspective. You have to "get into his head" and understand how he perceives all this.</p><p></p><p><strong>Example:</strong> Son would be engaged in an activity. I would tell him we have to get dressed to go. Son goes into a full out meltdown. Guess what? Son is autistic. He wasn't ABLE to make that kind of quick transition.</p><p><strong>Example:</strong> Son refused to talk. Guess what? He had a restricted frenum and couldn't say things PERFECTLY. Snipped frenum and he was talking nonstop. He was autistic and a perfectionist. Doing things "wrong" (mispronouncing in this case) was unacceptable and caused anxiety, so he didn't do it.</p><p><strong>Example:</strong> DD1 would start screaming at the top of her lungs during movie time at summer camp. Guess what? She's got auditory sensory issues. She's trying to watch the movie, but can't hear or focus because other kids are chatting - full out sensory meltdown. Once we identified this, we taught her to identify sensory overload and ask for permission to be removed from the situation. A Counselor that "forgot" the plan told her that she couldn't get up. Guess what? She started screaming again.</p><p></p><p>ODD explains the behavior, but doesn't explain WHY it is happening. There is more to the big picture. The WHY is crucially important because that will dictate HOW you can address what seems like ODD. Anxiety, Depression, Autism, ADHD, Bipolar can all manifest initially as ODD, but with each one, you will approach correcting the behavior in VERY different ways. Oh, and ODD due to "bad parenting" will be approached in yet another way.</p><p></p><p> I'm certain you both are. Just possible that your parenting style doesn't currently fit your son. In no way does it mean you are doing anything wrong, just that there might be many new things you'll have to learn. Some may even be counter-intuitive to good parenting, but if it works for you, your child and your family as a whole you may find yourself embracing it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="keista, post: 457767, member: 11965"] Just like with anything else, it depends on who "they" are and where "they" are coming from. If it was all your fault, then there should be improvement in his behavior at daycare with "correct" disciplinary techniques - obviously not the case. Stop and look further. WHY is an adult telling him to do something, triggering him? Is it they way they are asking? Is it interrupting his current activity? Is he understanding WHY he needs to do what he needs to do? And I'm not posing these questions from a "DUH", usual answer perspective. You have to "get into his head" and understand how he perceives all this. [B]Example:[/B] Son would be engaged in an activity. I would tell him we have to get dressed to go. Son goes into a full out meltdown. Guess what? Son is autistic. He wasn't ABLE to make that kind of quick transition. [B]Example:[/B] Son refused to talk. Guess what? He had a restricted frenum and couldn't say things PERFECTLY. Snipped frenum and he was talking nonstop. He was autistic and a perfectionist. Doing things "wrong" (mispronouncing in this case) was unacceptable and caused anxiety, so he didn't do it. [B]Example:[/B] DD1 would start screaming at the top of her lungs during movie time at summer camp. Guess what? She's got auditory sensory issues. She's trying to watch the movie, but can't hear or focus because other kids are chatting - full out sensory meltdown. Once we identified this, we taught her to identify sensory overload and ask for permission to be removed from the situation. A Counselor that "forgot" the plan told her that she couldn't get up. Guess what? She started screaming again. ODD explains the behavior, but doesn't explain WHY it is happening. There is more to the big picture. The WHY is crucially important because that will dictate HOW you can address what seems like ODD. Anxiety, Depression, Autism, ADHD, Bipolar can all manifest initially as ODD, but with each one, you will approach correcting the behavior in VERY different ways. Oh, and ODD due to "bad parenting" will be approached in yet another way. I'm certain you both are. Just possible that your parenting style doesn't currently fit your son. In no way does it mean you are doing anything wrong, just that there might be many new things you'll have to learn. Some may even be counter-intuitive to good parenting, but if it works for you, your child and your family as a whole you may find yourself embracing it. [/QUOTE]
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