Happy Thanksgiving to everyone. So far, the holiday has had ups and downs. Son came home yesterday, but although he got to town at 1 he didn't come home until 9...out with his friends. He also didn't bring so much as a change of clothes and didn't bring his laptop which we specifically told him to bring...four times. He said he "forgot" but we told him we're no longer even sure he owns it. Usually that would get a defensive, angry response, but he calmly said he really did forget. I don't know...he is a good liar. Still, he didn't come home acting at all high and we did have a normal conversation. Because it was late and we didn't want to get into things that late, I only asked if he'd given any more thought to whether he wanted to stay in school. He says he wants to change to gen ed courses and find a job to save up money for his plans. We told him if he wants to move away, he's an adult and we can't stop him, but we're glad to see he understands he needs to save some money up because while we don't have to approve of his life decisions, we also don't have to monetarily support them...and if he goes he'll go without our money or our car. This is the only time in his life that he can earn money and not have to spend it on things like rent and utilities or even food. He seemed to understand that.
While I'm happier that he seems - saner? - about his plans, he may well be just telling us what we want to hear. But there's nothing to do but see I suppose. I may be in denial, but I am still holding out hope that this summer, when I know he was smoking 4 or 5 days a week, was the peak and being away from here for months at a time, away from the people who I know supply him, is good for him and slows that down.
Right now my biggest concern is that we said he needed decent grades to keep the car and he may well be failing everything. Or he may have exaggerated...but I'm not expecting B's and C's here. If he really does want to get a job down there, I'm iffy about the car. He'd need it. I hate to go back on what we said, but this may be a case where it's necessary. (It's a small town, although too big to walk and no bus service after 5 p.m.) I guess we'll see.
We actually don't have a problem with him re-enrolling if he wants to...even if he only takes a couple classes and plans to not return after this year. His student loan pays his tuition and books and we are stuck on his lease (it's a privately owned student housing facility) until June anyway. If he left today, we'd still have to pay.
At the moment it's Thanksgiving day and he is again, out with friends. He'll be home for dinner later. I've decided just to take this visit as it comes and not freak out over every little thing. I keep telling myself he's 18 and we can't dictate what he does. So long as he's respectful.
Hope you are having uneventful days. Over the last year and 1/2, uneventful have become my favorites. 
