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New here. “Loaning” rent and buying food for nearly 19-year old who just squandered $30,000
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<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 648244" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>Unfortunately this is very likely. Even when the gambler actually believes their promises, it tends to end up so, that when they have a money, they will gamble, because that way they can both pay back and have money for something else and have a nice gambling bankroll (no, losing the money is not something they think at that point.) Gambling issues are often comorbid with mental health issues (bipolar, personality disorders, PTSD, depression, anxiety, though latter two are often the consequences of gambling as much as the things that makes person more likely to develop gambling issue) and substance abuse issues. </p><p></p><p>My older son used to be a compulsive gambler (more the poker and other online casino games than sports bets, but also those) and through his treatment, and word about his issues getting around, I have come to known quite a few families of gamblers. Some gamblers do not seem to have other problems but many are troubled also in other ways and need comprehensive help. Your son seems to be after that lifestyle gambling industry sells to young men (rich quick, more clever than others, live fast and be cool) but that of course almost never comes true. But try telling that to young; they seem to think, that when someone fails to reach that lifestyle through gambling, it is because they are too stupid. And who thinks they are too stupid themselves? Especially if they actually are reasonably talented intellectually.</p><p></p><p>Your son seems to have three different issues: gambling, drugs and mental health and it is all out of control. Targeting to only one of those things does not do much good for him. Unfortunately, as an adult, you can not force him to get help, except maybe through involuntary commitment if his psychotic symptoms peak. One way I can think to maybe help him to be more likely to seek help would be pointing him to very low threshold treatment options. I don't know what you have available, but for example here we have wonderful resource for problem gamblers, that has very low threshold, you can just call or walk in and you are not required to consider yourself a compulsive gambler, problem gambler or want to quit. They advertise themselves both for those who want to quit and those who want to learn to control their gambling better. The client decides what is their goal. While many contact when they want to learn to control it better, and some do learn to do so and are happy customers, many during the course of treatment end up noticing, that they have to quit instead. But it is their own choice and that makes it much easier for the person with the problem to sign in. And because it is well known that gambling is often so co-morbid with other issues, they do refer their clients to get help with both substance abuse and mental health issues.</p><p></p><p>There is also similar, low threshold treatment options for substance abuse issues, but in my experience many substance abuse treatments take more militant approach (which many users do not find appealing) and are also less inclined to look for comorbidity and some treatment options held a believe, that it is all about substances and being substance free would solve also the other issues or that getting totally substance free first is necessary for the treatment of other issues. Usually mental health, and in my experience evidence based gambling (not so sure about twelve steps etc. based) treatments are more used to deal with people with comorbid addiction and mental health issues. </p><p></p><p>Do not give him cash. If you want to help him financially, do it so, that he will not get his hands on that money. And keep yourself safe, he seems to be really out of control.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 648244, member: 14557"] Unfortunately this is very likely. Even when the gambler actually believes their promises, it tends to end up so, that when they have a money, they will gamble, because that way they can both pay back and have money for something else and have a nice gambling bankroll (no, losing the money is not something they think at that point.) Gambling issues are often comorbid with mental health issues (bipolar, personality disorders, PTSD, depression, anxiety, though latter two are often the consequences of gambling as much as the things that makes person more likely to develop gambling issue) and substance abuse issues. My older son used to be a compulsive gambler (more the poker and other online casino games than sports bets, but also those) and through his treatment, and word about his issues getting around, I have come to known quite a few families of gamblers. Some gamblers do not seem to have other problems but many are troubled also in other ways and need comprehensive help. Your son seems to be after that lifestyle gambling industry sells to young men (rich quick, more clever than others, live fast and be cool) but that of course almost never comes true. But try telling that to young; they seem to think, that when someone fails to reach that lifestyle through gambling, it is because they are too stupid. And who thinks they are too stupid themselves? Especially if they actually are reasonably talented intellectually. Your son seems to have three different issues: gambling, drugs and mental health and it is all out of control. Targeting to only one of those things does not do much good for him. Unfortunately, as an adult, you can not force him to get help, except maybe through involuntary commitment if his psychotic symptoms peak. One way I can think to maybe help him to be more likely to seek help would be pointing him to very low threshold treatment options. I don't know what you have available, but for example here we have wonderful resource for problem gamblers, that has very low threshold, you can just call or walk in and you are not required to consider yourself a compulsive gambler, problem gambler or want to quit. They advertise themselves both for those who want to quit and those who want to learn to control their gambling better. The client decides what is their goal. While many contact when they want to learn to control it better, and some do learn to do so and are happy customers, many during the course of treatment end up noticing, that they have to quit instead. But it is their own choice and that makes it much easier for the person with the problem to sign in. And because it is well known that gambling is often so co-morbid with other issues, they do refer their clients to get help with both substance abuse and mental health issues. There is also similar, low threshold treatment options for substance abuse issues, but in my experience many substance abuse treatments take more militant approach (which many users do not find appealing) and are also less inclined to look for comorbidity and some treatment options held a believe, that it is all about substances and being substance free would solve also the other issues or that getting totally substance free first is necessary for the treatment of other issues. Usually mental health, and in my experience evidence based gambling (not so sure about twelve steps etc. based) treatments are more used to deal with people with comorbid addiction and mental health issues. Do not give him cash. If you want to help him financially, do it so, that he will not get his hands on that money. And keep yourself safe, he seems to be really out of control. [/QUOTE]
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