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<blockquote data-quote="Gran2Angels" data-source="post: 341448" data-attributes="member: 8951"><p>Everyone,</p><p> </p><p>Thank you so much for your responses. Just the feeling of correspondence with others who understand and can actually converse about all these behaviors, well I can express what it means to me. I will try to answer your questions and tell you more. </p><p> </p><p>Some history: She had milk allergies as a baby, was allergic to every material except for 100% cotton, had to wear cloth diapers - 2 at a time with a cloth training pant because she was allergic to every type of disposable diaper, plastic and tape. She had dermatitis to the trunk of her body and legs and was treated for that starting at about age 4 months or so, but it became less severe by age 2 or so. She talked at the normal rate, walked at about at 13 months.</p><p> </p><p>She was always strong willed, and had trouble sleeping at night. I loved her and she was the light of my life. Her kindergarten teacher told us she thought difficult child had ADD. We learned if we kept her on a tight schedule, especially with regard to sleeping but also with eating, etc, then she did better. First grade was just ok, she had a very strict teacher that was highly organized and regimented and the structure helped difficult child make it through that year. Concentration was always hard, but we worked with her enough to get it all done.</p><p> </p><p>Second grade was a pit. Her teacher was lovely fun lady, carefree and no real plan. By the end of the first 6 weeks of school she was struggling so badly that I took her to the pediatrician and he suggested we have her tested for ADD. The mental health center confirmed the diagnosis and told us her IQ was extremely high, she qualified for MENSA. She was started on Ritilan. It was a complete nightmare that lasted only 4 days. She was up until 1 or two in the morning. To put it bluntly, she was wild. Mean, out of sorts, crying, exhausted, wild. It broke my heart. It was my understanding that there was no other options as far as medications. So we went back to the strick schedules and got a tutor. By the end of the school year I left my job. It took a lot to help her through life.</p><p> </p><p>So it went until she was 12. </p><p> </p><p>Her dad and I divorced the summer she turned 12. I went back to work full time. </p><p> </p><p>By that time her personality was already changing. The moodiness, hard to handle side of her was no longer around only when tired or stressed. It moved in to stay. She had days of being angry and unreasonable, verbally abusive. I took her to two doctors and both said it was just situational from the divorce and to just give her some space and time. I knew it was more than that. One day she wanted to go skating and spend the night with a friend I did not know. I said no, but offered to take her skating and the new friend spend the night with us if her parents would allow it. She snapped. She became extremely angry and it lead to this 2 hour rage that ended up with her throwing a skillet at me and kicking me repeatedly. I called a facility that I had looked into regarding her behaviors, and they told me to put her in the car and bring her right then for evaluation. It was a one hour drive to get there. She literally kicked and hit the back of my seat while I driving all the way there. She said every ugly thing you can imagine. Threatened me. She was admitted and stayed about 7 days I think. </p><p> </p><p>They diagnosed her with depression and situational anger. We did in/outpatient counseling and she was in anger management classes for 6 weeks. </p><p> </p><p>The medicine they put her made her crazy that time too. We did have something for a while that helped her sleep, which helped more than any other medicine to date, at that time. Life was rocky off and on throughout highschool. </p><p> </p><p>She had another incident in high school were she was mad at her brother and threatened him. When I came in the room, she kept telling me to hit her so she could have me arrested. When that didn't work, she threatened to hit me.... which she then tried. I simply held her down and had my son call the police. We live in a small town so the local deputy came, he got her to calm down and recommended I take her to hospital instead of him. I did, they sent her home as she was calm then. We went to the doctor the next day. Again, they said she was just a stressed out teenager. I disagreed strongly. The doctor suggested counciling again.</p><p> </p><p>After her second child she went into a deep depression and a family friend (doctor) got us with a psychiatrist. He tried medication after medication. She had rage with some, slept all the time with some. After her divorce she stayed at my house a lot because her daughter was very sick requiring hospital stays and surgeries due to a congential airway disorder. I had to have her admitted for a three day inpatient stay during that time because she became dispondant and suicidal. Literally wouldn't move or get up. </p><p> </p><p>That's when the mood disorder diagnosis came. He had her on abilify, remeron, resperidol, trazadone, welbutron, klonipin, valium... more that I can't think of (please ignore my spelling, I know they are probably all wrong). She had tons of side effects including 6 days in the hospital with a serious bout of pancreatitis. Seems like lots of the medications make her just plain crazy. Others zone her out to a none functioning state.</p><p> </p><p>A few years ago she seeing her psychiatrist and went of all medications. Now that she has gone back she will not allow me to go or be involved in her treatment. These past two months were she has been absolutely in a tail spin I have tried desperatly to get involved with her care. Because of the new privacy laws, her psychiatrist won't see me, even though he knows me and knows how actively I've been involved in all her struggles. I have been her main support. He also knows I have the kids most of the time. As a last resort, a few weeks ago I even showed up at the psychiatrists office the night of one her visits and counseling times. I told them I had concerns for the grandkids. I was asked to leave. Son in law tried to talk to her doctor about how out of control her behavior has been. difficult child told the psychiatrist that we are just ganging up on her. Son in law was told to hold his concerns for a bit and see how she does on the depakote. Depakote has been increased this week, by the way.</p><p> </p><p>As far as the grandchildren, social service has gotten two calls. Both times she was cleared by them and no official case was opened. This year the two older grands changed schools. I had them with me from June to Sept, so I enrolled them, took them to the summer orientation, paid their dues, bought school clothes, the whole nine yards. I am a PTA member and have volunteered for parties and the monthly evening reading program. Guess what? difficult child told the school she does NOT give them permission to speak to me about the kids. </p><p> </p><p>In Nov difficult child took the 7 year old to difficult child's psychiatrist and told him she was having trouble in the classroom and not minding or following direction at school. difficult child did this during a three period that she had taken the kids home because she was mad at me (she was on vyvance at the time and out of sorts). Of course the teacher didn't know how wild it was at home and that granddaughter wasn't getting any rest and her mother was keeping her out late, etc. </p><p> </p><p>By the way, I called the school counsler too and asked to have a meeting. She promptly told me that she was aware of all she needed to know about my grandchildren, as she has met with difficult child, who is a "loving mother" that "presents well" and that she willl "not be able to speak to me" due to confidentially as requested by difficult child. That same week, psychiatrist puts granddaughter on imipramine and diagnosis her with ODD. UGGGHHH. NO ONE WILL TALK TO ME. THEY DO NOT KNOW THE TRUE STORY. Bio dad is out of the picture, so no voice there either. </p><p> </p><p>My granddaughter is not ODD, in my opinion. She is being worn down by the negative affects of her environment. She has a take charge personality because she takes on so much responsibility when she is at her home. She can bath, dress and prepare a bedtime bottle for her baby brother. She can fold and put away clothes and clean a bathroom. She can put her little sister in the high chair, feed her, read her a story, sweep the kitchen and do the dishes.... no one makes her do things. She just takes it on, guess she figures somebody needs to do it. I think she is struggling to make it normal/right. Any wonder why she may be bossy with a class of normal first graders that are messy and don't get in line, etc as expected? She trying to mother all of them too. The medicine has taken away her joy. She never smiles, she has rings under eyes and she looks whipped. But I guess as long as she is quiet and not bossy, everyone is good. I'm angry.</p><p> </p><p>I will add that my daughter is very pretty and charming. I think the high IQ makes things worse, as it adds in her manipulation and games. I would imagine the same is true for many difficult child's. I love her with all my heart. When she is out of sorts, I really don't like her. I wish for better days.</p><p> </p><p>I have got tell you all, I know this is long, rambling and out of sorts. BUT... just to get it out and for someone to listen is therapy in and of itself. If anyone is still reading, THANK YOU. Excuse the spelling/grammatical errors, run on sentences...... I can't find the spell check and if I start proof reading I will probably either delete this or add more, so I'm just gonna roll with it. Bless you all.</p><p> </p><p>Gran</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Gran2Angels, post: 341448, member: 8951"] Everyone, Thank you so much for your responses. Just the feeling of correspondence with others who understand and can actually converse about all these behaviors, well I can express what it means to me. I will try to answer your questions and tell you more. Some history: She had milk allergies as a baby, was allergic to every material except for 100% cotton, had to wear cloth diapers - 2 at a time with a cloth training pant because she was allergic to every type of disposable diaper, plastic and tape. She had dermatitis to the trunk of her body and legs and was treated for that starting at about age 4 months or so, but it became less severe by age 2 or so. She talked at the normal rate, walked at about at 13 months. She was always strong willed, and had trouble sleeping at night. I loved her and she was the light of my life. Her kindergarten teacher told us she thought difficult child had ADD. We learned if we kept her on a tight schedule, especially with regard to sleeping but also with eating, etc, then she did better. First grade was just ok, she had a very strict teacher that was highly organized and regimented and the structure helped difficult child make it through that year. Concentration was always hard, but we worked with her enough to get it all done. Second grade was a pit. Her teacher was lovely fun lady, carefree and no real plan. By the end of the first 6 weeks of school she was struggling so badly that I took her to the pediatrician and he suggested we have her tested for ADD. The mental health center confirmed the diagnosis and told us her IQ was extremely high, she qualified for MENSA. She was started on Ritilan. It was a complete nightmare that lasted only 4 days. She was up until 1 or two in the morning. To put it bluntly, she was wild. Mean, out of sorts, crying, exhausted, wild. It broke my heart. It was my understanding that there was no other options as far as medications. So we went back to the strick schedules and got a tutor. By the end of the school year I left my job. It took a lot to help her through life. So it went until she was 12. Her dad and I divorced the summer she turned 12. I went back to work full time. By that time her personality was already changing. The moodiness, hard to handle side of her was no longer around only when tired or stressed. It moved in to stay. She had days of being angry and unreasonable, verbally abusive. I took her to two doctors and both said it was just situational from the divorce and to just give her some space and time. I knew it was more than that. One day she wanted to go skating and spend the night with a friend I did not know. I said no, but offered to take her skating and the new friend spend the night with us if her parents would allow it. She snapped. She became extremely angry and it lead to this 2 hour rage that ended up with her throwing a skillet at me and kicking me repeatedly. I called a facility that I had looked into regarding her behaviors, and they told me to put her in the car and bring her right then for evaluation. It was a one hour drive to get there. She literally kicked and hit the back of my seat while I driving all the way there. She said every ugly thing you can imagine. Threatened me. She was admitted and stayed about 7 days I think. They diagnosed her with depression and situational anger. We did in/outpatient counseling and she was in anger management classes for 6 weeks. The medicine they put her made her crazy that time too. We did have something for a while that helped her sleep, which helped more than any other medicine to date, at that time. Life was rocky off and on throughout highschool. She had another incident in high school were she was mad at her brother and threatened him. When I came in the room, she kept telling me to hit her so she could have me arrested. When that didn't work, she threatened to hit me.... which she then tried. I simply held her down and had my son call the police. We live in a small town so the local deputy came, he got her to calm down and recommended I take her to hospital instead of him. I did, they sent her home as she was calm then. We went to the doctor the next day. Again, they said she was just a stressed out teenager. I disagreed strongly. The doctor suggested counciling again. After her second child she went into a deep depression and a family friend (doctor) got us with a psychiatrist. He tried medication after medication. She had rage with some, slept all the time with some. After her divorce she stayed at my house a lot because her daughter was very sick requiring hospital stays and surgeries due to a congential airway disorder. I had to have her admitted for a three day inpatient stay during that time because she became dispondant and suicidal. Literally wouldn't move or get up. That's when the mood disorder diagnosis came. He had her on abilify, remeron, resperidol, trazadone, welbutron, klonipin, valium... more that I can't think of (please ignore my spelling, I know they are probably all wrong). She had tons of side effects including 6 days in the hospital with a serious bout of pancreatitis. Seems like lots of the medications make her just plain crazy. Others zone her out to a none functioning state. A few years ago she seeing her psychiatrist and went of all medications. Now that she has gone back she will not allow me to go or be involved in her treatment. These past two months were she has been absolutely in a tail spin I have tried desperatly to get involved with her care. Because of the new privacy laws, her psychiatrist won't see me, even though he knows me and knows how actively I've been involved in all her struggles. I have been her main support. He also knows I have the kids most of the time. As a last resort, a few weeks ago I even showed up at the psychiatrists office the night of one her visits and counseling times. I told them I had concerns for the grandkids. I was asked to leave. Son in law tried to talk to her doctor about how out of control her behavior has been. difficult child told the psychiatrist that we are just ganging up on her. Son in law was told to hold his concerns for a bit and see how she does on the depakote. Depakote has been increased this week, by the way. As far as the grandchildren, social service has gotten two calls. Both times she was cleared by them and no official case was opened. This year the two older grands changed schools. I had them with me from June to Sept, so I enrolled them, took them to the summer orientation, paid their dues, bought school clothes, the whole nine yards. I am a PTA member and have volunteered for parties and the monthly evening reading program. Guess what? difficult child told the school she does NOT give them permission to speak to me about the kids. In Nov difficult child took the 7 year old to difficult child's psychiatrist and told him she was having trouble in the classroom and not minding or following direction at school. difficult child did this during a three period that she had taken the kids home because she was mad at me (she was on vyvance at the time and out of sorts). Of course the teacher didn't know how wild it was at home and that granddaughter wasn't getting any rest and her mother was keeping her out late, etc. By the way, I called the school counsler too and asked to have a meeting. She promptly told me that she was aware of all she needed to know about my grandchildren, as she has met with difficult child, who is a "loving mother" that "presents well" and that she willl "not be able to speak to me" due to confidentially as requested by difficult child. That same week, psychiatrist puts granddaughter on imipramine and diagnosis her with ODD. UGGGHHH. NO ONE WILL TALK TO ME. THEY DO NOT KNOW THE TRUE STORY. Bio dad is out of the picture, so no voice there either. My granddaughter is not ODD, in my opinion. She is being worn down by the negative affects of her environment. She has a take charge personality because she takes on so much responsibility when she is at her home. She can bath, dress and prepare a bedtime bottle for her baby brother. She can fold and put away clothes and clean a bathroom. She can put her little sister in the high chair, feed her, read her a story, sweep the kitchen and do the dishes.... no one makes her do things. She just takes it on, guess she figures somebody needs to do it. I think she is struggling to make it normal/right. Any wonder why she may be bossy with a class of normal first graders that are messy and don't get in line, etc as expected? She trying to mother all of them too. The medicine has taken away her joy. She never smiles, she has rings under eyes and she looks whipped. But I guess as long as she is quiet and not bossy, everyone is good. I'm angry. I will add that my daughter is very pretty and charming. I think the high IQ makes things worse, as it adds in her manipulation and games. I would imagine the same is true for many difficult child's. I love her with all my heart. When she is out of sorts, I really don't like her. I wish for better days. I have got tell you all, I know this is long, rambling and out of sorts. BUT... just to get it out and for someone to listen is therapy in and of itself. If anyone is still reading, THANK YOU. Excuse the spelling/grammatical errors, run on sentences...... I can't find the spell check and if I start proof reading I will probably either delete this or add more, so I'm just gonna roll with it. Bless you all. Gran [/QUOTE]
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