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<blockquote data-quote="Gran2Angels" data-source="post: 341804" data-attributes="member: 8951"><p>Thank you SusieStar,</p><p> </p><p>I do talk to my son in law. We talk behind difficult child's back, because of her being so paranoid. I allow him to vent, as he has no other outlet. This weekend he has not called me at all. That is usually a sign that she is somewhat manageable, which makes sense because it's all about her with Valentine's Day, eating out, shopping and all. His parents had the two younger children over night last night, and the older two went for a rare visit with their father. All the kids are due back home this evening. I very much needed the mental break and had tons of cleaning and paperwork to do so I didn't make any calls either. </p><p> </p><p>I have checked in our area for support groups but as of yet, there is nothing other than al anon, unless a drive and hour or so. The Al Anon group here is very small, a few married women of older alcoholics. They been together so long I gather it's more like their social time. I went twice and felt like we were on different pages with our issues. Thank you for suggesting it.</p><p> </p><p>I did go see a therapist for myself this Friday. I have been much in thought to what she had to say. Basically she suggests I back off, let things take a natural course. She understands that I am trying to protect the kids and doing what I do for them. However, she kept making the point that I am doing so much that it is covering up difficult child's issues. As someone else replied to me, she said it may get bad for a while, but then hopefully all can be brought to light and difficult child will be forced to address her issues regarding medication change/diagnosis/gravity of her illness. It's gonna be hard for me to not go and take them to school everyday. That's how I know they have eaten breakfast and that they arrive on time. difficult child is awful in the mornings and often makes them cry, is always late. The therapist said for me let it happen. That and other things are hard, because the kids suffer. </p><p> </p><p>I am going to try and step aside for the sake of letting her be accountable. I need to have a talk with son in law about this so he understands what I'm trying to do. I know it will put him in full on stress mode too, because he struggles with working and handling all this. I believe he has an appointment with difficult child and her psychiatrist on Tuesday. He is going to try to be more pointed with psychiatrist about how bad it has been lately with difficult child. </p><p> </p><p>I have read alot about bipolar. I believe that is her true diagnosis. difficult child doesn't read anything. She is still in denial even after all these years. She keeps insisting everyone else is the problem, not her. When difficult child was still at home diet and routine sleep pattern, 7-8 hours sleep made a huge difference for her. Sadly she will not manage herself as an adult. And also, I think her mental state gotten worse. When I mention the medication issues, she gets very angry and says she is not bipolar and I do not know what I'm talking because psychiatrist says she is just depressed/mood disorder. As I am unable to go to visits, I do just do not know. I do know that the depakote was increased this last week. Maybe it will help.</p><p> </p><p>Another thing, the therapists I saw Friday said that although when I showed up for her visit with psychiatrist they refused to see me, it still was a red flag that psychiatrist should be considering. She said the fact that I went respectfully, acted respectfully and merely said I was there because of my concern for the children, this should be something that psychiatrist made note of. Hopefully when son in law trys to address all this again, psychiatrist will put it all together. I pray.</p><p> </p><p>Also, I want to say to everyone here: I've been reading alot on these boards this weekend. I am so impressed and grateful for the wealth of information here. I very much wish I would have found this site sooner. I am blessed to be here now and the timing this weekend has been wonderful.</p><p> </p><p>Blessings,</p><p>Gran</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Gran2Angels, post: 341804, member: 8951"] Thank you SusieStar, I do talk to my son in law. We talk behind difficult child's back, because of her being so paranoid. I allow him to vent, as he has no other outlet. This weekend he has not called me at all. That is usually a sign that she is somewhat manageable, which makes sense because it's all about her with Valentine's Day, eating out, shopping and all. His parents had the two younger children over night last night, and the older two went for a rare visit with their father. All the kids are due back home this evening. I very much needed the mental break and had tons of cleaning and paperwork to do so I didn't make any calls either. I have checked in our area for support groups but as of yet, there is nothing other than al anon, unless a drive and hour or so. The Al Anon group here is very small, a few married women of older alcoholics. They been together so long I gather it's more like their social time. I went twice and felt like we were on different pages with our issues. Thank you for suggesting it. I did go see a therapist for myself this Friday. I have been much in thought to what she had to say. Basically she suggests I back off, let things take a natural course. She understands that I am trying to protect the kids and doing what I do for them. However, she kept making the point that I am doing so much that it is covering up difficult child's issues. As someone else replied to me, she said it may get bad for a while, but then hopefully all can be brought to light and difficult child will be forced to address her issues regarding medication change/diagnosis/gravity of her illness. It's gonna be hard for me to not go and take them to school everyday. That's how I know they have eaten breakfast and that they arrive on time. difficult child is awful in the mornings and often makes them cry, is always late. The therapist said for me let it happen. That and other things are hard, because the kids suffer. I am going to try and step aside for the sake of letting her be accountable. I need to have a talk with son in law about this so he understands what I'm trying to do. I know it will put him in full on stress mode too, because he struggles with working and handling all this. I believe he has an appointment with difficult child and her psychiatrist on Tuesday. He is going to try to be more pointed with psychiatrist about how bad it has been lately with difficult child. I have read alot about bipolar. I believe that is her true diagnosis. difficult child doesn't read anything. She is still in denial even after all these years. She keeps insisting everyone else is the problem, not her. When difficult child was still at home diet and routine sleep pattern, 7-8 hours sleep made a huge difference for her. Sadly she will not manage herself as an adult. And also, I think her mental state gotten worse. When I mention the medication issues, she gets very angry and says she is not bipolar and I do not know what I'm talking because psychiatrist says she is just depressed/mood disorder. As I am unable to go to visits, I do just do not know. I do know that the depakote was increased this last week. Maybe it will help. Another thing, the therapists I saw Friday said that although when I showed up for her visit with psychiatrist they refused to see me, it still was a red flag that psychiatrist should be considering. She said the fact that I went respectfully, acted respectfully and merely said I was there because of my concern for the children, this should be something that psychiatrist made note of. Hopefully when son in law trys to address all this again, psychiatrist will put it all together. I pray. Also, I want to say to everyone here: I've been reading alot on these boards this weekend. I am so impressed and grateful for the wealth of information here. I very much wish I would have found this site sooner. I am blessed to be here now and the timing this weekend has been wonderful. Blessings, Gran [/QUOTE]
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