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<blockquote data-quote="justtotallyspent" data-source="post: 385493"><p>First off BIG HUGS for you and your family. I too know the feeling all to well of not knowing what to do, walking on eggshells and just waiting for the next fit....... We have an almost 5 yr old son, whom was just recently diagnosis'd with ADHD-Combined type and ODD. Well the diagnosis comes as a help, it's not a fix. We are only 1 month into our first medication regimen. The ADHD medications have given him much more control over himself, and the able to take time to process things around him..... we are hoping this is the beginning of an easier life for him. I know you are looking for help dealing until you can get to through the diagnosis process.... which can be long. We had got to the end of our rope even with the posibility of having our son (my step-son) leave the family home. He too would not sit for time-outs, would distroy his room when put in there for time-out or to cool off, he would bite, pitch, kick, and throw stuff at me when he didn't get his own way. He was extremely mean to his younger sibling also. We started counselling about 1+ yr ago, through an agancy in our area for children and families going through hard times, that helped alot (i'm not sure exactly where your located so I am not sure whats in your area to help, we are near Ottawa Ontario Canada). We too only heard from others, either we are too tough, not tough enough or that they just thought he was completely fine. Although we started getting notes home in JR Kindergarden and continuing through to this year, although it was never as bad there as at home. He was a complete terror at home, and everyone at home was always on high alert. I spent many school days at home by myself just crying thinking that I didn't know how i was going to make it though another day/evening/bedtime. The family counseller we have has helped alot, advocated to get us into testing sooner, and in touch with resources in our area. In the meantime, i wish there was something I could tell you would help but we too had to just keep toughing it out. We tried to keep as simple as a schedule as possible, any outings that weren't necessary were done when he could stay at home, and we tried to keep meals times consistant. It was so hard for me I always wanted to be out doing stuff when it came up or making sure everything was done but I had to learn to let it go. I spent countless hours sitting just outside a baby-gated bedroom door being yelled at. I usually had an older sibling around to watch the younger one but when it was just me I would put our younger son in his room with some toys just down the hall where I could keep an eye on him and sit and listen. Whenever he would stop I would just simply say when you can calm down for 2 mins we will continue on with our day/evening/etc. If he continued I would just wait longer and sometimes it was much longer. We made his room complete safe for him and us. His dresser came out, he has only soft things in there, pictures, etc are up high and we even had to take his door off and use a gate. His toys are kept in a closet outside his room, we put one of those touch lights up on the wall with double sided tape high enough he cant reach it. It seemed so horrible but it was the only safe place to put him while he tantrumed so no one got hurt including him. I would go back and forth between checking on him and playing with our youngest, or doing whatever else I was doing before it started. Whenever he did stop for a couple mins and I figured he would be calm, I would then say You did ___________, that was unacceptable, please say sorry and now you have now calmed down let's continue on. We knew some things he did he might not have known exactly or couldn't control himself so by timeout and removing him from it was the simplest. If it was hurting someone else he had to say sorry to that person. If it was inappropriate use of something I put it away during timeout (fit) and continued on with something different. </p><p> </p><p>Well I am sure I have said wayyyyyyyy too much..... welcome to the site, it's a wonderful site........ Feel free to message me.....</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="justtotallyspent, post: 385493"] First off BIG HUGS for you and your family. I too know the feeling all to well of not knowing what to do, walking on eggshells and just waiting for the next fit....... We have an almost 5 yr old son, whom was just recently diagnosis'd with ADHD-Combined type and ODD. Well the diagnosis comes as a help, it's not a fix. We are only 1 month into our first medication regimen. The ADHD medications have given him much more control over himself, and the able to take time to process things around him..... we are hoping this is the beginning of an easier life for him. I know you are looking for help dealing until you can get to through the diagnosis process.... which can be long. We had got to the end of our rope even with the posibility of having our son (my step-son) leave the family home. He too would not sit for time-outs, would distroy his room when put in there for time-out or to cool off, he would bite, pitch, kick, and throw stuff at me when he didn't get his own way. He was extremely mean to his younger sibling also. We started counselling about 1+ yr ago, through an agancy in our area for children and families going through hard times, that helped alot (i'm not sure exactly where your located so I am not sure whats in your area to help, we are near Ottawa Ontario Canada). We too only heard from others, either we are too tough, not tough enough or that they just thought he was completely fine. Although we started getting notes home in JR Kindergarden and continuing through to this year, although it was never as bad there as at home. He was a complete terror at home, and everyone at home was always on high alert. I spent many school days at home by myself just crying thinking that I didn't know how i was going to make it though another day/evening/bedtime. The family counseller we have has helped alot, advocated to get us into testing sooner, and in touch with resources in our area. In the meantime, i wish there was something I could tell you would help but we too had to just keep toughing it out. We tried to keep as simple as a schedule as possible, any outings that weren't necessary were done when he could stay at home, and we tried to keep meals times consistant. It was so hard for me I always wanted to be out doing stuff when it came up or making sure everything was done but I had to learn to let it go. I spent countless hours sitting just outside a baby-gated bedroom door being yelled at. I usually had an older sibling around to watch the younger one but when it was just me I would put our younger son in his room with some toys just down the hall where I could keep an eye on him and sit and listen. Whenever he would stop I would just simply say when you can calm down for 2 mins we will continue on with our day/evening/etc. If he continued I would just wait longer and sometimes it was much longer. We made his room complete safe for him and us. His dresser came out, he has only soft things in there, pictures, etc are up high and we even had to take his door off and use a gate. His toys are kept in a closet outside his room, we put one of those touch lights up on the wall with double sided tape high enough he cant reach it. It seemed so horrible but it was the only safe place to put him while he tantrumed so no one got hurt including him. I would go back and forth between checking on him and playing with our youngest, or doing whatever else I was doing before it started. Whenever he did stop for a couple mins and I figured he would be calm, I would then say You did ___________, that was unacceptable, please say sorry and now you have now calmed down let's continue on. We knew some things he did he might not have known exactly or couldn't control himself so by timeout and removing him from it was the simplest. If it was hurting someone else he had to say sorry to that person. If it was inappropriate use of something I put it away during timeout (fit) and continued on with something different. Well I am sure I have said wayyyyyyyy too much..... welcome to the site, it's a wonderful site........ Feel free to message me..... [/QUOTE]
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