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New here, mother to child with bipolar disorder
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<blockquote data-quote="kim75062" data-source="post: 704700" data-attributes="member: 20727"><p>Welcome! </p><p></p><p>If your looking for a place to vent about the struggles of daily life you have come to a great place! We all have our ups and down and even sideways with our kids. Its nice to come to a place where people actually "get" whats going on and what its like to deal with these kids on a daily basis. </p><p></p><p>My best advice to you would be to stop trying to hide or avoid talking about your sons illness and problems. </p><p></p><p>Mental illnesses are still not very well understood by most typical people but they don't carry the same stigma that they did 20 years ago. We no longer lock up kids with downs or autism in institutions because their not "normal". We don't give up on kids with Learning Disability (LD) and label them unteachable (most of the time anyway, but that's a whole different thread). Almost any person you talk to could tell you what depression is and probably name a few medications for it just from the TV commercials. Its not a big secret that needs to be kept and nothing to be ashamed of.</p><p></p><p>The kids in his class probably have already made up their own version of why they think hes not in school, and I'm sure its much different then the truth (kids come up with some crazy stuff when left to their own imaginations). </p><p></p><p>I wouldn't go on Facebook or twitter and post/tweet every single problem your son is having for the world to read but I wouldn't hide it either. But If someone asks me I tell them whats "wrong" with my son. I usually go with hes has a "chemical imbalance in his brain and has developed neurologically different then typical children". That seems to be a good catch all that covers most mental illness in kids that parents of typical children will understand. I think his friends parents and friends should be made aware that he has a mental illness, not necessarily which one or lots of details, treatments etc. but if hes out with friends or over visiting and a manic episode happens they need to be prepared for what to do. They also need to be aware that its not his fault and he really cant help it. an illness is an illness whether mental or physical its only fair to give the other people around a heads up. </p><p></p><p>I had a kid stay for a birthday party at a skating rink once that had a seizure disorder I was never told about. Needless to say the disco ball was a BAD idea and she ended up with 3 stitches in her chin. Thanks to the parents not telling me anything I was completely unprepared to prevent it or to deal with it. Had I know in advance, there would of been no disco ball, laser lights and she would of had an adult in the rink with her at all times. </p><p></p><p>I know it may be embarrassing or even scary to talk about it but most parents and kids understand and are compassionate. And the ones that aren't are probably not going to be a good influence on your son in the future anyway. Your son needs you to model to the rest of the world that hes not "typical" and that its OK. His big brother seems to have adjusted and overcome a lot and is a great example of what happens when parents do all they can do to help their kids with these problems. </p><p></p><p>My son just turned 6 and we still don't really know whats going on with him. I will not be surprised if a BiPolar (BP) diagnosis is given in the future. But he still knows that his brain is different then most kids his age and he has to try harder to do things that are easy for other kids. He will tell you that "his microscopic wiring is jumbled up in his head and the doctors are trying to untangle it" (he understands how the nervous system works well). </p><p></p><p>And if you choose to not talk to anybody in person about it because you still just can't etc. we will all be here with open ears (eyes actually )! I know I will anyway because I no other grownups around besides all these great wonderful people Ive never meet to talk to lol</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="kim75062, post: 704700, member: 20727"] Welcome! If your looking for a place to vent about the struggles of daily life you have come to a great place! We all have our ups and down and even sideways with our kids. Its nice to come to a place where people actually "get" whats going on and what its like to deal with these kids on a daily basis. My best advice to you would be to stop trying to hide or avoid talking about your sons illness and problems. Mental illnesses are still not very well understood by most typical people but they don't carry the same stigma that they did 20 years ago. We no longer lock up kids with downs or autism in institutions because their not "normal". We don't give up on kids with Learning Disability (LD) and label them unteachable (most of the time anyway, but that's a whole different thread). Almost any person you talk to could tell you what depression is and probably name a few medications for it just from the TV commercials. Its not a big secret that needs to be kept and nothing to be ashamed of. The kids in his class probably have already made up their own version of why they think hes not in school, and I'm sure its much different then the truth (kids come up with some crazy stuff when left to their own imaginations). I wouldn't go on Facebook or twitter and post/tweet every single problem your son is having for the world to read but I wouldn't hide it either. But If someone asks me I tell them whats "wrong" with my son. I usually go with hes has a "chemical imbalance in his brain and has developed neurologically different then typical children". That seems to be a good catch all that covers most mental illness in kids that parents of typical children will understand. I think his friends parents and friends should be made aware that he has a mental illness, not necessarily which one or lots of details, treatments etc. but if hes out with friends or over visiting and a manic episode happens they need to be prepared for what to do. They also need to be aware that its not his fault and he really cant help it. an illness is an illness whether mental or physical its only fair to give the other people around a heads up. I had a kid stay for a birthday party at a skating rink once that had a seizure disorder I was never told about. Needless to say the disco ball was a BAD idea and she ended up with 3 stitches in her chin. Thanks to the parents not telling me anything I was completely unprepared to prevent it or to deal with it. Had I know in advance, there would of been no disco ball, laser lights and she would of had an adult in the rink with her at all times. I know it may be embarrassing or even scary to talk about it but most parents and kids understand and are compassionate. And the ones that aren't are probably not going to be a good influence on your son in the future anyway. Your son needs you to model to the rest of the world that hes not "typical" and that its OK. His big brother seems to have adjusted and overcome a lot and is a great example of what happens when parents do all they can do to help their kids with these problems. My son just turned 6 and we still don't really know whats going on with him. I will not be surprised if a BiPolar (BP) diagnosis is given in the future. But he still knows that his brain is different then most kids his age and he has to try harder to do things that are easy for other kids. He will tell you that "his microscopic wiring is jumbled up in his head and the doctors are trying to untangle it" (he understands how the nervous system works well). And if you choose to not talk to anybody in person about it because you still just can't etc. we will all be here with open ears (eyes actually )! I know I will anyway because I no other grownups around besides all these great wonderful people Ive never meet to talk to lol [/QUOTE]
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