On the personal selfishness concern you have, don't feel guilty about it. As other have said, you have to look after YOU.
However, I see home schooling as selfish. I no longer get my day disrupted by phone calls saying, "Come and get him." I no longer have to rush home to collect him from school. I no longer have to get up early and order my life by the clock; difficult child 3 can start school in his pyjamas if he wants. I no longer have to make sandwiches for his school lunch - I can feed him whatever I'm eating too, or if he gets hungry and I'm not ready for him, he gets himself some pot noodles. He works on his own once I give him the work, I just potter around doing what I need to do but being available if he has a question. He's learning to be resourceful, he has had a lot of practice at looking up a dictionary or Wikipedia. We have no more homework battles because it's all homework, by definition. But it means all required work is done during the day while medications are on board. This means he goes out to play when other parents are unpacking the school bag, checking for nasty notes from school, nagging about homework, etc.
We put a rule in place at the very beginning - "school work during school hours". This means if you don't cooperate, boyo, you can go back to a classroom setting. Your choice.
It does mean I tend to plan my life a bit more, but there is far less chance of those plans being badly disrupted.
And the other big thing - if I go back to sending difficult child 3 to a classroom setting, I can just about guarantee he will do badly academically and go backwards socially. Where he will end up - not good. Doing things this way he stands a better chance doing well academically and eventually getting a job which will keep me in a style to which I'd like to become accustomed. I do not want a future sitting in courtrooms, posting bail, reading tear-stained letters from prison or, at worst, placing flowers on a grave. I'm putting in this effort as an investment in MY future!
Marg
