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<blockquote data-quote="tandcg" data-source="post: 335319" data-attributes="member: 7456"><p>My son is 14, and was diagnosed with bipolar and ADHD a year ago. He is also very oppositional at times. He has been steadily improving over the last year (Yea!) although we still have some bad days. Here's a few of the things that have really made a difference...</p><p> </p><p>1) Therapy. Intially we tried to get him to go to therapy together with us. He absolutely refused. My husband and I ended up going to several sessions alone, since he would refuse to go at the last minute. On the plus side, without my son present, we were able to take about some strategies for dealing with his opposition. The therapist asked us to put together a list of our expectations for him. We had about 10 things on the list (we thought it was short) - things like.. respect authority, be kind, help around house, etc. The therapist said the list was way too long for a oppositional kid and that we should focus on just our top three most important things initially. Come up with some sort of positive reinforcement for the top three things and let everything else go (just until he turns the top three around...).</p><p> </p><p>We also refused to give up on getting him some therapy. We finally found someone that my son really likes (relatively young, cool guy that he can talk with freely with and who doesn't make him feel like he is being judged). I think he really likes that their conversations are confidential. He never gives us a problem about going anymore.</p><p> </p><p>2) The right medications. We gone through lots of them in the last year (and it's putting us in the poor house) but mostly they are helping and otherwisde we'd be nowhere.</p><p> </p><p>3) Sports. A healthy, productive way for him to spend his free time, and release agression. Also provides some more positive reinforcement to help turn around that opposition.</p><p> </p><p>4) Lots of patience from those around him. (Parents, teachers, friends, extended family) This is so hard to do when he is acting oppositional. We have discovered that even using the wrong tone of voice with him can set him off at times. As he has become more in control of himself and his emotions over the last year, we've found a way to communicate so that he knows when we are very firm about something.</p><p> </p><p>Hope this helps!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="tandcg, post: 335319, member: 7456"] My son is 14, and was diagnosed with bipolar and ADHD a year ago. He is also very oppositional at times. He has been steadily improving over the last year (Yea!) although we still have some bad days. Here's a few of the things that have really made a difference... 1) Therapy. Intially we tried to get him to go to therapy together with us. He absolutely refused. My husband and I ended up going to several sessions alone, since he would refuse to go at the last minute. On the plus side, without my son present, we were able to take about some strategies for dealing with his opposition. The therapist asked us to put together a list of our expectations for him. We had about 10 things on the list (we thought it was short) - things like.. respect authority, be kind, help around house, etc. The therapist said the list was way too long for a oppositional kid and that we should focus on just our top three most important things initially. Come up with some sort of positive reinforcement for the top three things and let everything else go (just until he turns the top three around...). We also refused to give up on getting him some therapy. We finally found someone that my son really likes (relatively young, cool guy that he can talk with freely with and who doesn't make him feel like he is being judged). I think he really likes that their conversations are confidential. He never gives us a problem about going anymore. 2) The right medications. We gone through lots of them in the last year (and it's putting us in the poor house) but mostly they are helping and otherwisde we'd be nowhere. 3) Sports. A healthy, productive way for him to spend his free time, and release agression. Also provides some more positive reinforcement to help turn around that opposition. 4) Lots of patience from those around him. (Parents, teachers, friends, extended family) This is so hard to do when he is acting oppositional. We have discovered that even using the wrong tone of voice with him can set him off at times. As he has become more in control of himself and his emotions over the last year, we've found a way to communicate so that he knows when we are very firm about something. Hope this helps! [/QUOTE]
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