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<blockquote data-quote="WearyinCanada" data-source="post: 744434" data-attributes="member: 23513"><p>Also watching football <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> Thank you for the welcome. </p><p></p><p>Let's see...yes, history of drug abuse, but no hard drugs currently (that I am aware of!) but does smoke pot. No drugs or even smoking in the home.</p><p></p><p>No adoption, per day, but I had him when I was 18 and he has had 2 long term father figures in his life (my exhusband...from ages 3-now, who is father of his two brothers..very amicable split)...and my husband from age 9-now, who is his sister's father...</p><p></p><p>No history of abuse. Huge history of entitlement (not sure where it came from) but not wanting to work for anything...</p><p></p><p>Graduated high school with honors, very intelligent...but never worked to his potential...we only ever had 3 rules at home:</p><p></p><p>1) do your best in school (whatever that may be for you)</p><p>2) keep your room clean</p><p>3) get a job when you turn 16, or money stops for "wants"</p><p></p><p>Things took a sour turn for us mostly around 15-16 when he didnt want to work, take part etc...was lying, stealing, etc...looking back I can recognize it as depression/anxiety...but at the time 10 years ago, seemed like "lazy teenager"...</p><p></p><p>Got accepted to university, and received student loans...needed to get a job to help pay for tuition, refused, and dropped out after 3 months. </p><p></p><p>Moved out west for work after that, which is where the drug issues started in earnest (I suspect now that there was pot before...but we were not aware)...he kept this seasonal job for 6 months, and moved back home broke....stayed with us until the next season began which started the cycle of new job after new job...</p><p></p><p>It was that fall that he experienced an episode of psychosis from drug use, and was admitted to hospital with severe paranoia, depression, delusions etc....after 3 weeks, advocated a panel for release (against ours and psychiatrist's recommendation) and came home for 4 months...after those 4 months, he got a place to live, and a job....which lasted 4 weeks. He was placed in the hospital again because he had nowhere else to go (our home is no longer an option), and after 2 months inpatient was placed in an intensive 6 month offsite program, where he did "very well"....but I personally had very little faith that things would change. He lasted one month on his own afterwards...wouldnt take medication, was approved for EI, and subsidized housing, but decided to move back out west AGAIN. Within 1 month, he had met a girl, and she became pregnant (something they chose on purpose!).</p><p></p><p>Baby is now 6 months old, they have no relationship and he is ordered to pay child support...all while being unable to keep a job. </p><p></p><p>My mother is a huge enabler, especially after my father passed 3 years ago...he is very manipulative and emotionally cruel to both her and I...playing on any guilt he can think of.</p><p></p><p>So much left out...but that's where we are at right now.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="WearyinCanada, post: 744434, member: 23513"] Also watching football :) Thank you for the welcome. Let's see...yes, history of drug abuse, but no hard drugs currently (that I am aware of!) but does smoke pot. No drugs or even smoking in the home. No adoption, per day, but I had him when I was 18 and he has had 2 long term father figures in his life (my exhusband...from ages 3-now, who is father of his two brothers..very amicable split)...and my husband from age 9-now, who is his sister's father... No history of abuse. Huge history of entitlement (not sure where it came from) but not wanting to work for anything... Graduated high school with honors, very intelligent...but never worked to his potential...we only ever had 3 rules at home: 1) do your best in school (whatever that may be for you) 2) keep your room clean 3) get a job when you turn 16, or money stops for "wants" Things took a sour turn for us mostly around 15-16 when he didnt want to work, take part etc...was lying, stealing, etc...looking back I can recognize it as depression/anxiety...but at the time 10 years ago, seemed like "lazy teenager"... Got accepted to university, and received student loans...needed to get a job to help pay for tuition, refused, and dropped out after 3 months. Moved out west for work after that, which is where the drug issues started in earnest (I suspect now that there was pot before...but we were not aware)...he kept this seasonal job for 6 months, and moved back home broke....stayed with us until the next season began which started the cycle of new job after new job... It was that fall that he experienced an episode of psychosis from drug use, and was admitted to hospital with severe paranoia, depression, delusions etc....after 3 weeks, advocated a panel for release (against ours and psychiatrist's recommendation) and came home for 4 months...after those 4 months, he got a place to live, and a job....which lasted 4 weeks. He was placed in the hospital again because he had nowhere else to go (our home is no longer an option), and after 2 months inpatient was placed in an intensive 6 month offsite program, where he did "very well"....but I personally had very little faith that things would change. He lasted one month on his own afterwards...wouldnt take medication, was approved for EI, and subsidized housing, but decided to move back out west AGAIN. Within 1 month, he had met a girl, and she became pregnant (something they chose on purpose!). Baby is now 6 months old, they have no relationship and he is ordered to pay child support...all while being unable to keep a job. My mother is a huge enabler, especially after my father passed 3 years ago...he is very manipulative and emotionally cruel to both her and I...playing on any guilt he can think of. So much left out...but that's where we are at right now. [/QUOTE]
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