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<blockquote data-quote="elizabrary" data-source="post: 744435" data-attributes="member: 11235"><p>Glad you found us. It is so helpful to find people who understand. When I have tried to talk to others who have never experienced having a troubled adult child they were dismissive or told me I should just tell my daughter whatever genius thing they thought of. Like I hadn't said and/or screamed every single thing they mentioned. My daughter has been all kinds of trouble, got straightened out for awhile but recently relapsed. I had to jump back on here to get my objectivity back in place and keep up with not enabling my daughter. Read up on enabling if you're not familiar with it. My working definition is doing something for an adult that they are capable of doing for themselves. I'm pretty good about maintaining boundaries, but that was hard for me to learn. If you don't have strong boundaries in place I encourage you to find the many posts on here about them and start working on them. Be aware that when you start putting boundaries in place your troubled adult child will likely up the ante and do all kinds of crazy things but you have stay firm. It's wildly frustrating, hard, demoralizing and stress inducing. But you can get to a place where you can manage your anxiety about your son and use most of your energy to focus on you and improving your life and health. Glad you're here. Sending peace your way.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="elizabrary, post: 744435, member: 11235"] Glad you found us. It is so helpful to find people who understand. When I have tried to talk to others who have never experienced having a troubled adult child they were dismissive or told me I should just tell my daughter whatever genius thing they thought of. Like I hadn't said and/or screamed every single thing they mentioned. My daughter has been all kinds of trouble, got straightened out for awhile but recently relapsed. I had to jump back on here to get my objectivity back in place and keep up with not enabling my daughter. Read up on enabling if you're not familiar with it. My working definition is doing something for an adult that they are capable of doing for themselves. I'm pretty good about maintaining boundaries, but that was hard for me to learn. If you don't have strong boundaries in place I encourage you to find the many posts on here about them and start working on them. Be aware that when you start putting boundaries in place your troubled adult child will likely up the ante and do all kinds of crazy things but you have stay firm. It's wildly frustrating, hard, demoralizing and stress inducing. But you can get to a place where you can manage your anxiety about your son and use most of your energy to focus on you and improving your life and health. Glad you're here. Sending peace your way. [/QUOTE]
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