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<blockquote data-quote="WearyinCanada" data-source="post: 744488" data-attributes="member: 23513"><p>it's been a rough weekend...as my son gets closer and closer to being homeless (today was supposed to be the day), the belittlement and bombardment of blame and excuses just got worse and worse. He refuses to go to a shelter, and accuses me of not caring enough, "leaving him in the mud" etc etc...constantly "asking" me what I have done for him, all the while blaming me for "making him an empty person", saying that "I have done enough damage", am "evil"....blamed me for "having 3 kids before making sure my firsts mental health checks out"...I'm a "bully", I'm "dead to him"...blames me for not "mass applying to jobs" the last couple of days for him because he has no access to a computer or his resume (but is clearly able to message me from social media)</p><p></p><p>He is so incredibly manipulative and smart...and uses every trick in the book, and throws everything back at me. He knows that I have held this "tough love" hardline/boundary for years....so he throws that back at me. Accuses me of never showing him warmth or giving him the "tools to be independent". When I tell him that I do love him, and haven't given up on him...that's never good enough, or comforting enough....if I don't respond to his messages and engage in the back and forth, I am "ignoring him and don't care".</p><p></p><p>At the end of every night after I end the daily stream of back and forth, he ends with the subtle threats of "goodbye", hopes I'm happy and warm and enjoying all of my food and possessions....and then in the mornings will bait me back into responding.</p><p></p><p>I go through the happiness of seeing him online (because I know he's at least alive)....and also the dread of engaging with him. I'm damned if I do, damned if I don't.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="WearyinCanada, post: 744488, member: 23513"] it's been a rough weekend...as my son gets closer and closer to being homeless (today was supposed to be the day), the belittlement and bombardment of blame and excuses just got worse and worse. He refuses to go to a shelter, and accuses me of not caring enough, "leaving him in the mud" etc etc...constantly "asking" me what I have done for him, all the while blaming me for "making him an empty person", saying that "I have done enough damage", am "evil"....blamed me for "having 3 kids before making sure my firsts mental health checks out"...I'm a "bully", I'm "dead to him"...blames me for not "mass applying to jobs" the last couple of days for him because he has no access to a computer or his resume (but is clearly able to message me from social media) He is so incredibly manipulative and smart...and uses every trick in the book, and throws everything back at me. He knows that I have held this "tough love" hardline/boundary for years....so he throws that back at me. Accuses me of never showing him warmth or giving him the "tools to be independent". When I tell him that I do love him, and haven't given up on him...that's never good enough, or comforting enough....if I don't respond to his messages and engage in the back and forth, I am "ignoring him and don't care". At the end of every night after I end the daily stream of back and forth, he ends with the subtle threats of "goodbye", hopes I'm happy and warm and enjoying all of my food and possessions....and then in the mornings will bait me back into responding. I go through the happiness of seeing him online (because I know he's at least alive)....and also the dread of engaging with him. I'm damned if I do, damned if I don't. [/QUOTE]
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