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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 744515" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>They go to the hospital at times for meals and a bed. They are quite good at keeping warm. Hospitals are used, rehabs for a few days, 24 hr. stores, all night laundramats, street friends who offer a couch and sometimes stealing money or store items to sell for rooms and drugs. We hate it but we cant stop it. We CAN choose not to get lawyers when they get arrested. They need consequences, not rescue from Mom. Yes, it hurts but we must be strong even as we cry (crying is all right) or they wont change.</p><p></p><p>Nothing changes if nothing changes. We must be the change if they wont. Shake up their worlds. Stop the rescue mission. Shock them into doing things themselves like adults do. Dont help, dont help, dont help. Enabling means doing things for them that they can do for themselves. Dont!</p><p> </p><p></p><p>Food pantries are plentiful for all. They dont starve. Some even dumpster dive for fresh wrapped, perfectly good tossed out food from grocery stores. This is actually not uncommon. </p><p></p><p>Nobody on the street has to starve or be cold. There are shelters. Shelters DO have rules like no drugs or fights. If he cant follow the rules he himself is taking a bed away from himself. But there ARE beds.</p><p></p><p>He is street smart and knows how to survive. It isnt your dream for him, but his dream right now may be the street and no rules. Many wont follow and despise societal rules. But t behey are necessisary to live in comfort and to work. Work equals a boss equals somebody he has to listen to, fair or not, equals rules. Even if he doesnt like them all.</p><p></p><p> You can let hin learn to decide what his life will be. You have to. Because you cant control an adult. But you dont have to enable him to act 14 and never grow up either. Or you can; some 80 year olds put up with abusive alcoholic 60 year olds and that is their ending. And no one could stop Mom.</p><p></p><p>Every decision you make is yours.</p><p></p><p>Every decision he makes is his.</p><p></p><p>Love and light!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 744515, member: 1550"] They go to the hospital at times for meals and a bed. They are quite good at keeping warm. Hospitals are used, rehabs for a few days, 24 hr. stores, all night laundramats, street friends who offer a couch and sometimes stealing money or store items to sell for rooms and drugs. We hate it but we cant stop it. We CAN choose not to get lawyers when they get arrested. They need consequences, not rescue from Mom. Yes, it hurts but we must be strong even as we cry (crying is all right) or they wont change. Nothing changes if nothing changes. We must be the change if they wont. Shake up their worlds. Stop the rescue mission. Shock them into doing things themselves like adults do. Dont help, dont help, dont help. Enabling means doing things for them that they can do for themselves. Dont! Food pantries are plentiful for all. They dont starve. Some even dumpster dive for fresh wrapped, perfectly good tossed out food from grocery stores. This is actually not uncommon. Nobody on the street has to starve or be cold. There are shelters. Shelters DO have rules like no drugs or fights. If he cant follow the rules he himself is taking a bed away from himself. But there ARE beds. He is street smart and knows how to survive. It isnt your dream for him, but his dream right now may be the street and no rules. Many wont follow and despise societal rules. But t behey are necessisary to live in comfort and to work. Work equals a boss equals somebody he has to listen to, fair or not, equals rules. Even if he doesnt like them all. You can let hin learn to decide what his life will be. You have to. Because you cant control an adult. But you dont have to enable him to act 14 and never grow up either. Or you can; some 80 year olds put up with abusive alcoholic 60 year olds and that is their ending. And no one could stop Mom. Every decision you make is yours. Every decision he makes is his. Love and light! [/QUOTE]
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