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<blockquote data-quote="Beta" data-source="post: 744545" data-attributes="member: 22597"><p>Dear Weary in Canada,</p><p>Wow. Many of the things you said about your son I could have said about our son. We have a 28YO adopted son who lives in Denver, CO. We think he could be Bipolar, as his birth mother was Bipolar. He is nearly homeless, can't hold a job, was arrested a year ago for assault on his old roommate, served 3 mos in house arrest. He constantly texts and (recently) has begun to call us, trying to verbally abuse us. His theme is that we ruined his life because of the various moves we made to different "crummy" towns because of my husband's profession (pastor). His mind has completely distorted the past. He doesn't seem to remember all the love and care we poured into him, the fun family times, holidays, vacations, supporting his soccer years, etc. We are "miserable," "evil" "selfish", etc. "How could you do that (moving) to your children?" He is also very angry because we won't co-sign a loan for a car for him. Like anybody in their right mind would do such a thing for someone who can't hold a job. You can't have a conversation with him because he just returns again and again to attacking us. In his mind, there's nothing wrong with him; it's us and everyone else who has done him wrong. We have begged him to get help or to come to where we live and let us help him get help. He refuses and calls us every name in the book. Two weeks ago, I asked him to let us buy him a plane or bus ticket so he could come for a couple of weeks and be with us and our other son for Christmas--he refused. So here we are. I stumbled onto this site about a year ago, and it has helped me so much. Just knowing that I'm not alone, that there are other good parents out there who are experiencing the same things we are. Also, the wisdom I have received from those who post has helped. I return to the site often, just to get perspective straight and help through the grieving process. </p><p>I am sorry for the suffering you are going through. At times, I too feel guilty for enjoying something, knowing our son is not enjoying things in his life. I have days when I can detach and days/nights when I feel overwhelmed with grief and a desire to once again try to rescue him. So, all that to say that what you are experiencing is well-known to the rest of us too, I'm sorry to say. Welcome.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Beta, post: 744545, member: 22597"] Dear Weary in Canada, Wow. Many of the things you said about your son I could have said about our son. We have a 28YO adopted son who lives in Denver, CO. We think he could be Bipolar, as his birth mother was Bipolar. He is nearly homeless, can't hold a job, was arrested a year ago for assault on his old roommate, served 3 mos in house arrest. He constantly texts and (recently) has begun to call us, trying to verbally abuse us. His theme is that we ruined his life because of the various moves we made to different "crummy" towns because of my husband's profession (pastor). His mind has completely distorted the past. He doesn't seem to remember all the love and care we poured into him, the fun family times, holidays, vacations, supporting his soccer years, etc. We are "miserable," "evil" "selfish", etc. "How could you do that (moving) to your children?" He is also very angry because we won't co-sign a loan for a car for him. Like anybody in their right mind would do such a thing for someone who can't hold a job. You can't have a conversation with him because he just returns again and again to attacking us. In his mind, there's nothing wrong with him; it's us and everyone else who has done him wrong. We have begged him to get help or to come to where we live and let us help him get help. He refuses and calls us every name in the book. Two weeks ago, I asked him to let us buy him a plane or bus ticket so he could come for a couple of weeks and be with us and our other son for Christmas--he refused. So here we are. I stumbled onto this site about a year ago, and it has helped me so much. Just knowing that I'm not alone, that there are other good parents out there who are experiencing the same things we are. Also, the wisdom I have received from those who post has helped. I return to the site often, just to get perspective straight and help through the grieving process. I am sorry for the suffering you are going through. At times, I too feel guilty for enjoying something, knowing our son is not enjoying things in his life. I have days when I can detach and days/nights when I feel overwhelmed with grief and a desire to once again try to rescue him. So, all that to say that what you are experiencing is well-known to the rest of us too, I'm sorry to say. Welcome. [/QUOTE]
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