Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
new member...am I paranoid?
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 647719" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>We never knew the extent of our daughters drug useage until she quit and told us. We were stunned and scared just thinking of it. You will not know for sure. He will not fess up to an ything more than pot. The pen is for snorting. What he is snorting is anyone's guess. I did call the cops on my daughter for smoking pot in hopes of getting her help and also so she knew we took it very seriously and that it was not ok with us at all. From age 12-19 were a freakin' nightmare, but she did quit and she did it on her own.</p><p></p><p>When your child dumps his drug friends, you will know he quit. It is lonely to quit. My daughter had nobody for a long time.</p><p></p><p>Question: Does your son drive? If so, why? Aren't you afraid he'll kill himself or somebody else?</p><p></p><p>As for this being normal teenage stuff, it is not. I have raised four other kids to adulthood and have had some problems with my oldest son, but drugs were not part of it. None of my remaining kids caused me ANY grief in their teen years. Their friends were nice kids.</p><p></p><p>Your son is acting like a disrespectful drug addict. I am a huge believer in tough love, especially since it worked for my daughter. If it were me, I'd cut off all the money as I did my daughter when I found out about the cigarettes. That's right. I am very anti-smoking and would not give her allowance to buy them with and whenever I found them in her purse, i nto the toilet they went. The pot and alcohol were not negotiable. She is now thirty and when she was a teen not every c hild had a cell phone. She had a pre-paid cell phone, for emergencies only, a waste of our money sine she ran down the half hour increments the first day. But if she were being brought up now, I know myself and she would have to pay for her own cell phone, internet, and all else besides cheap but clean clothes and nutritious food. That is the minimum of what we have to do for our children and if she would break the lawl, then her life would not be pleasant. She tried to throw us off track about the drug use, but we found her having a wild party so she had to leave. That is when she quit. She was in a new state (we sent her to her straight arrow and kind of arse-hole brother who she knew would put her out if she even lit up one cigarette). She was lonely. Her brother made her work so she walked to and from Subway in all weather and became a manager. She met her boyfriend. She wasn't as lonely. She grew up slowly but was clean. It took us at least three years to believe she'd stay clean, but it's been over ten years and she and boyfriend have a house and just had a gorgeous baby and she has quit. And there was no drug she didn't at least try. She loved speed and to snort it, especially ADHD medications crushed in a pillcrusher, along with cocaine. She also did psychedelics and meth. And she tried heroin twice so I learned that you don't necessarily get hooked on heroin if you try it once or twice. She didn't.</p><p></p><p>Today she is regular, boring housewife, no longer 90 lbs. due to the drugs and no longer lazy and crazy (hey, I'm a poet and I didn't know it!). Look, ya gotta laugh or you'll cry a river.</p><p></p><p>Al-Anon helped me so much I can't even express it correctly on paper. I would have fallen apart without the great people who helped me through this. I honestly thought she was going to die. At the same time as going to Al-Anon, I had my regular therapist who I use for my mood disorder. I still thank them in my mind every day. Don't try to do this alone. It's too hard.</p><p></p><p>Your son is getting to the age when he can do legally what he wants to do. You have hard decisions to make. Are you going to cut off any allowance that may be spend for the drugs, the magnitude of which only he and his drugs know? Are you going to still pamper him by paying for his cell phone and internet? Driver's Ed? I would make being tested clean for a year at a laboratory and seeing a doctor (psychologist) every week a mandatory fact if he wanted to even take driver's ed, let alone drive your car. My advice is further, do NOT BUY HIM A CAR. It is not helpful to buy our entitled, drug using kids their own cars. They usually get into many accidents that we are responsible for since our names are on the car. Don't reward him for going the wrong way. Make his life boring. Make taking drugs very boring. Make it hard for him to get around to see his druggie friends. If he'll go, put him in rehab and tell him very sternly, he will be leaving at eighteen if he doesn't take it seriously. Now not all parents can do that or want to do that. This is just MY advice and take what you like and leave the rest.</p><p></p><p>Do you have other kids? Remember that they deserve a peaceful house, as do you.</p><p></p><p>He is still young. There is still time. Tough love. No matter how he throw s a toddler tantrum and tells you he hates you, he will respect you more inside if you don't enable his behavior. We have to do whatever we can before they turn eighteen. After that, well, since legally they can do what they like, many of us have had to show our children the door and many have been homeless or gone to jail.</p><p></p><p>Being nice and understanding does not seem to work with drug challenged children.</p><p></p><p>ANyways, I said my piece. Please take good care of YOU. YOU matter as much as him, and you need to have a life outside of his drama...your friends and family who respect you, your hobbies, you likes, your guilty little secrets (we all have them!!!) and just sniffing the flowers Think about today, not ten years from now. We don't know what will happen in ten years.</p><p></p><p>Hugs for your hurting heart and soul.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 647719, member: 1550"] We never knew the extent of our daughters drug useage until she quit and told us. We were stunned and scared just thinking of it. You will not know for sure. He will not fess up to an ything more than pot. The pen is for snorting. What he is snorting is anyone's guess. I did call the cops on my daughter for smoking pot in hopes of getting her help and also so she knew we took it very seriously and that it was not ok with us at all. From age 12-19 were a freakin' nightmare, but she did quit and she did it on her own. When your child dumps his drug friends, you will know he quit. It is lonely to quit. My daughter had nobody for a long time. Question: Does your son drive? If so, why? Aren't you afraid he'll kill himself or somebody else? As for this being normal teenage stuff, it is not. I have raised four other kids to adulthood and have had some problems with my oldest son, but drugs were not part of it. None of my remaining kids caused me ANY grief in their teen years. Their friends were nice kids. Your son is acting like a disrespectful drug addict. I am a huge believer in tough love, especially since it worked for my daughter. If it were me, I'd cut off all the money as I did my daughter when I found out about the cigarettes. That's right. I am very anti-smoking and would not give her allowance to buy them with and whenever I found them in her purse, i nto the toilet they went. The pot and alcohol were not negotiable. She is now thirty and when she was a teen not every c hild had a cell phone. She had a pre-paid cell phone, for emergencies only, a waste of our money sine she ran down the half hour increments the first day. But if she were being brought up now, I know myself and she would have to pay for her own cell phone, internet, and all else besides cheap but clean clothes and nutritious food. That is the minimum of what we have to do for our children and if she would break the lawl, then her life would not be pleasant. She tried to throw us off track about the drug use, but we found her having a wild party so she had to leave. That is when she quit. She was in a new state (we sent her to her straight arrow and kind of arse-hole brother who she knew would put her out if she even lit up one cigarette). She was lonely. Her brother made her work so she walked to and from Subway in all weather and became a manager. She met her boyfriend. She wasn't as lonely. She grew up slowly but was clean. It took us at least three years to believe she'd stay clean, but it's been over ten years and she and boyfriend have a house and just had a gorgeous baby and she has quit. And there was no drug she didn't at least try. She loved speed and to snort it, especially ADHD medications crushed in a pillcrusher, along with cocaine. She also did psychedelics and meth. And she tried heroin twice so I learned that you don't necessarily get hooked on heroin if you try it once or twice. She didn't. Today she is regular, boring housewife, no longer 90 lbs. due to the drugs and no longer lazy and crazy (hey, I'm a poet and I didn't know it!). Look, ya gotta laugh or you'll cry a river. Al-Anon helped me so much I can't even express it correctly on paper. I would have fallen apart without the great people who helped me through this. I honestly thought she was going to die. At the same time as going to Al-Anon, I had my regular therapist who I use for my mood disorder. I still thank them in my mind every day. Don't try to do this alone. It's too hard. Your son is getting to the age when he can do legally what he wants to do. You have hard decisions to make. Are you going to cut off any allowance that may be spend for the drugs, the magnitude of which only he and his drugs know? Are you going to still pamper him by paying for his cell phone and internet? Driver's Ed? I would make being tested clean for a year at a laboratory and seeing a doctor (psychologist) every week a mandatory fact if he wanted to even take driver's ed, let alone drive your car. My advice is further, do NOT BUY HIM A CAR. It is not helpful to buy our entitled, drug using kids their own cars. They usually get into many accidents that we are responsible for since our names are on the car. Don't reward him for going the wrong way. Make his life boring. Make taking drugs very boring. Make it hard for him to get around to see his druggie friends. If he'll go, put him in rehab and tell him very sternly, he will be leaving at eighteen if he doesn't take it seriously. Now not all parents can do that or want to do that. This is just MY advice and take what you like and leave the rest. Do you have other kids? Remember that they deserve a peaceful house, as do you. He is still young. There is still time. Tough love. No matter how he throw s a toddler tantrum and tells you he hates you, he will respect you more inside if you don't enable his behavior. We have to do whatever we can before they turn eighteen. After that, well, since legally they can do what they like, many of us have had to show our children the door and many have been homeless or gone to jail. Being nice and understanding does not seem to work with drug challenged children. ANyways, I said my piece. Please take good care of YOU. YOU matter as much as him, and you need to have a life outside of his drama...your friends and family who respect you, your hobbies, you likes, your guilty little secrets (we all have them!!!) and just sniffing the flowers Think about today, not ten years from now. We don't know what will happen in ten years. Hugs for your hurting heart and soul. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
new member...am I paranoid?
Top