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Failure to Thrive
New Member...long road
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<blockquote data-quote="kat913" data-source="post: 731532" data-attributes="member: 22998"><p>Yes, I thought I dealt with alot as well...and when it started to come...I got very scared because I thought i would stay there permanantly (be sick like my mother!) but gradually I learned to sit with it, really feel it deep inside (which was so painful) and it lessened and lessened and I realized i could go deep, feel it intensly (that's all it wanted me to do was acknowledge the sadness etc.) and it was never as deep a well as before. Yet I still feel many other memories, losses, hurts,etc. I cry more now than ever but it feels to be tears of release because sadness and grief never go anywhere until they are felt deeply for what they are. </p><p></p><p>It has changed my relationship with my parents (only for me)...they are the same yet i have freed myself from all that pain.....crazy how it carries and stays with you (probably till i die) but I didn't want to feel the hurt and dissapointment that I knew would come from my interaction. so very slowly (many years obviously) I have released myself from their power. Strange how long i felt powerless but it has been wonderful for me and I know when they die,I will be very sad to see them go, but I will not have that bitterness or worthlessness I had always felt (because they are incapable of giving it the way I expect it). Now that I don't expect it....it has healed the relationship for me. What a blessing and a burden to release!! I expect my children will have their burdens and words for me as they grow as well. Perfect parenting and unscathed children is an illusion!! LOL Thanks for the encouragement to share myself!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="kat913, post: 731532, member: 22998"] Yes, I thought I dealt with alot as well...and when it started to come...I got very scared because I thought i would stay there permanantly (be sick like my mother!) but gradually I learned to sit with it, really feel it deep inside (which was so painful) and it lessened and lessened and I realized i could go deep, feel it intensly (that's all it wanted me to do was acknowledge the sadness etc.) and it was never as deep a well as before. Yet I still feel many other memories, losses, hurts,etc. I cry more now than ever but it feels to be tears of release because sadness and grief never go anywhere until they are felt deeply for what they are. It has changed my relationship with my parents (only for me)...they are the same yet i have freed myself from all that pain.....crazy how it carries and stays with you (probably till i die) but I didn't want to feel the hurt and dissapointment that I knew would come from my interaction. so very slowly (many years obviously) I have released myself from their power. Strange how long i felt powerless but it has been wonderful for me and I know when they die,I will be very sad to see them go, but I will not have that bitterness or worthlessness I had always felt (because they are incapable of giving it the way I expect it). Now that I don't expect it....it has healed the relationship for me. What a blessing and a burden to release!! I expect my children will have their burdens and words for me as they grow as well. Perfect parenting and unscathed children is an illusion!! LOL Thanks for the encouragement to share myself!! [/QUOTE]
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