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New member: mom to ds with- adhd, BiPolar (BP), sensory processing disorder (SPD), and cognitive disorder
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<blockquote data-quote="jcox" data-source="post: 229940" data-attributes="member: 6583"><p><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/felttip/anxious.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":anxious:" title="anxious :anxious:" data-shortname=":anxious:" /><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"> Hello. <span style="color: sienna">I am the mother of three children. Two wonderful girls who are ten and twelve... and a challenging 6 y.o son named Elijah. He has been a difficult child since birth. He was my third child and my worst labor and delivery. He did not know how to **** his bottle when he was born. The nurses had to teach him how. He used to cry a mad cry instead of a sad one and was always easily overstimulated by things being too bright, loud, crowded, etc. He did not like to be held except to eat and then wanted to be down immediatly. He never crawled, but was on track with the rest of the milestones.</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #a0522d">When he learned to walk, he also learned to bite and hit. None of the child proof stuff was good enough for him. At the age of two he learned how to stack pillows, step stools etc. on top of chairs to make it high enough to open bolt locks and escape. He has always been quiet and sneaky. At the age of three things got worse. I enrolled him in HeadStart and that lasted only three months before they kicked him out because he was a "Safety Risk" to the other children because of his agressiveness. A few months later I took him with me to a daycare I worked at. That did not last long either. He was biting constantly and one day stabbed a little girl in the face with a pair of child proof sissors so bad she needed several stitches. At the age of three he began raging at times for up to four hours nonstop. He threw things such as furniture, hit, bit, kicked, screamed etc. When he was done he had no idea what happened and why people were upset with him. He also began having night terrors at about that time too. They would be graphic including him getting eaten by animals, getting hit by trains, drownding etc. and were very bloody. He started counseling at the age of three and went on medications at the age of four.</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #a0522d">For the next few years we were blessed to have him enrolled in an excellent family child care home based preschool program. Elijah continued to be agressive there as well as hypersexual touching little girls right in front of the teachers. His teacher was amazingly patient with him and worked to get him accomodations including a 1:1 aid. Instead of sending him to kindergarten last year like we could have, we opted to keep him with her. She did a whole kindergarten curriculum with him so he would be ready when the time came to adjust to school. I wish he could have stayed with her forever, but know he has to grow up. </span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #a0522d">This past fall he started kindergarten at the age of six. He still has major issues socially. He has been suspended five times already this year and was kicked off the bus. I had to quit my job to be here for him because the school was constantly calling me at work to come get him. I have had to knowledge myself about all the laws and regs because they did not want to help him. I got him started off the year with a 504 plan that included a 1:1, which I got turned into an IEP that is being constructed. They are giving him one under emotional disturbance. Before the year began I told the school my concerns about him not doing well in a class with eighteen other children but they would not listen to me. They waited until other parents were complaining and not sending their children to school because of my son. Then about a month ago they decided to put him in a SPED class they call a transition room with only four other children who are third and forth graders, his 1:1 aid, SPED restraint trained teacher, and a class aid. He seems to be doing better in there. They also cut his hours at school in half. The school is very concerned about his hypersexuality, touching teachers etc. They keep pushing me to have him placed inpatient.... only if the would have seen him a couple years ago.<img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/laugh.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":laugh:" title="laugh :laugh:" data-shortname=":laugh:" /></span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #a0522d">Recently this past couple months he has began saying things that concern me. About 2 months ago we were running with the puppy, laughing and having a good time. All of a sudden he looks at a pond we were walking by and said "Mom I am going to jump in that water. I don't care if I drowned". Then that night as he was leaning over the banister in our living room he tells me "Mommy I am going to jump. Then you will have to call 911". A couple weeks ago he tells my hubby "Dad I am going to jump out the window, sit in the middle of the road, so I can get hit by a car. Then I will be dead and everyone will be crying". We live on the 2nd floor. </span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #a0522d">He has always been agressive with animals: throwing the cats out our windows, chokes the puppy, hits her, kicks her, etc. He began telling me about a year ago that there is a person inside his body who tells him to do bad things. One day he cut his foot. He was really upset screaming "Stop laughing at me"! I said "Honey Nobody is laughing at you." He said "Yeah belly is. Tell him to stop." He has always told me that belly tells him to do bad things. His counselors always blew it off but I think he really hears voices. </span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #a0522d">His counselor that he was seeing for the past three years told me a couple months ago that she does not know how to help him and I needed to find somebody with more expertise. He said he is a challenge, like a puzzle. So we started seeing a new psychiatrist last month who I am not so sure about. He put him on Lithium which has made him more stable, but there are a few things I don't like about him. There is not one toy in his office, he is not open minded about any of the newer medications, his office is not set up for children, and he talks to us about Elijah, but never directly to him. Elijah has gained 50 lbs in two years on the Risperdal. He is currently on Risperdal, Celexa, Vistaril, Clonidine, and Lithium. The medications have helped his rages and anxiety, but he is not totally stable. We have seen improved results on the Lithium. I am concerned about all this weight from the Risperdal. He used to be so active and he no longer is. He eats a healthy diet, but still gains all this weight. He still rages, but now they last about twenty minutes instead of three to four hours. I have been contemplating taking him to Boston Tufts Medical Center because I heard back from them and they have a whole mood disorders clinic for children.</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #a0522d">I have included a poem I wrote about my son to help you understand our situation:</span></span></span></p><p><strong><em><u><span style="font-family: 'Batang'"><p style="text-align: center">Wonders of a mother </p><p></span></u></em></strong><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">I wonder what tomorrow brings</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">For a little life all filled with fright</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">I wonder what tomorrow brings</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">For a little boy so afraid at night</span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Batang'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">Can not control your body</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">From all the terrors inside</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">Darkness fills your heart</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">You want so much to hide</span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Batang'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">Here I sit</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">On a cold dark night</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">Wondering what the future brings</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">My heart fills with fright</span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Batang'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">People do not understand</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">What goes on in my son's land</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">They do not know him</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">They don't hold his hand</span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Batang'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">The fears that he shows</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">We are the only ones that know</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">In a world so full of people</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">We seem all alone</span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Batang'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">Wishing there were a magic pill</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">To make things all great</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">Wishing the rain</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">Could not flood his gates</span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Batang'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">Wishing he could</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">Be a happy boy</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">Sitting quietly</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">Playing with his toys</span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Batang'"></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Batang'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">Laughing and playing </span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">Like the other kids do</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">Getting good grades</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">Getting along good in school</span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Batang'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">Deep in his heart</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">I feel his aches and pains</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">For I am his mother</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">I know how his heart rains</span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Batang'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">He does not want</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">To live like this I know</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">For only I wish</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">To others he could show</span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Batang'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">The happiness he feels inside</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">That fills my heart with pride</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">People do not understand him</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">That is why my heart cries</span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Batang'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">Wishing his moods</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">Would not be so blue</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">Wishing that others</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">Could understand him too</span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Batang'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">Wishing that schools</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">Could just cooperate</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">Wishing here lonely</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">His life could be great</span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Batang'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">I wish that he </span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">Gets the help that he needs</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">Wishing in life</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">He does succeed</span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Batang'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">Not knowing what to do</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">With a boy so happy AND blue</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">Filled with anger and hostility</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">Only wanting others to see</span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Batang'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">To the hospital </span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">I can not let him go</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">For he is a baby</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">That only I seem to know</span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Batang'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">His pain is invisible</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">Behind a smile so bright</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">Wishing others could see</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">What can make his heart light</span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Batang'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">There are three children in there</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">One is nice as can be</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">That is the one </span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">I wish everyone could see</span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Batang'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">Then there is the angry one</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">Who hurts others until they cry</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">He will tell you I hate you</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">And laugh as he hurts you</span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Batang'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">There is my sad son</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">Does not know what he has done</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">Wonders why as people are mad</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">Asks "Why are you sad"</span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Batang'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">The little looks on his face</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">Are filled with such sadness</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">A boy locked inside</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">A world filled with madness</span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Batang'"></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Batang'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">I love him so dearly</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">As I sit here so teary</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">Wonder what I could do </span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">Have I been a good mother</span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Batang'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">What could I have done different</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">So he did not end up this way</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">My heart fills with thunder</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">As I pray to God each day</span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Batang'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">Please give me the strength</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">Patience to deal</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">Please let people know</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">His disability is real</span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Batang'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">Please help them understand</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">Do for him what is best</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">Please look over us lord</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">Keep us all safe in this land</span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Batang'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">I wonder why is my son</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">Stuck in this body </span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">That does not not cooperate</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">Will he ever be free</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'">From this bipolar gate</span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Batang'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Batang'"></span><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: darkred">Thanks to all who read my long post. </span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #8b0000">Janice</span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="jcox, post: 229940, member: 6583"] :anxious:[FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=4] Hello. [COLOR=sienna]I am the mother of three children. Two wonderful girls who are ten and twelve... and a challenging 6 y.o son named Elijah. He has been a difficult child since birth. He was my third child and my worst labor and delivery. He did not know how to **** his bottle when he was born. The nurses had to teach him how. He used to cry a mad cry instead of a sad one and was always easily overstimulated by things being too bright, loud, crowded, etc. He did not like to be held except to eat and then wanted to be down immediatly. He never crawled, but was on track with the rest of the milestones.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=4][COLOR=#a0522d][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=4][COLOR=#a0522d]When he learned to walk, he also learned to bite and hit. None of the child proof stuff was good enough for him. At the age of two he learned how to stack pillows, step stools etc. on top of chairs to make it high enough to open bolt locks and escape. He has always been quiet and sneaky. At the age of three things got worse. I enrolled him in HeadStart and that lasted only three months before they kicked him out because he was a "Safety Risk" to the other children because of his agressiveness. A few months later I took him with me to a daycare I worked at. That did not last long either. He was biting constantly and one day stabbed a little girl in the face with a pair of child proof sissors so bad she needed several stitches. At the age of three he began raging at times for up to four hours nonstop. He threw things such as furniture, hit, bit, kicked, screamed etc. When he was done he had no idea what happened and why people were upset with him. He also began having night terrors at about that time too. They would be graphic including him getting eaten by animals, getting hit by trains, drownding etc. and were very bloody. He started counseling at the age of three and went on medications at the age of four.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=4][COLOR=#a0522d][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=4][COLOR=#a0522d]For the next few years we were blessed to have him enrolled in an excellent family child care home based preschool program. Elijah continued to be agressive there as well as hypersexual touching little girls right in front of the teachers. His teacher was amazingly patient with him and worked to get him accomodations including a 1:1 aid. Instead of sending him to kindergarten last year like we could have, we opted to keep him with her. She did a whole kindergarten curriculum with him so he would be ready when the time came to adjust to school. I wish he could have stayed with her forever, but know he has to grow up. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=4][COLOR=#a0522d][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=4][COLOR=#a0522d]This past fall he started kindergarten at the age of six. He still has major issues socially. He has been suspended five times already this year and was kicked off the bus. I had to quit my job to be here for him because the school was constantly calling me at work to come get him. I have had to knowledge myself about all the laws and regs because they did not want to help him. I got him started off the year with a 504 plan that included a 1:1, which I got turned into an IEP that is being constructed. They are giving him one under emotional disturbance. Before the year began I told the school my concerns about him not doing well in a class with eighteen other children but they would not listen to me. They waited until other parents were complaining and not sending their children to school because of my son. Then about a month ago they decided to put him in a SPED class they call a transition room with only four other children who are third and forth graders, his 1:1 aid, SPED restraint trained teacher, and a class aid. He seems to be doing better in there. They also cut his hours at school in half. The school is very concerned about his hypersexuality, touching teachers etc. They keep pushing me to have him placed inpatient.... only if the would have seen him a couple years ago.:funny:[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=4][COLOR=#a0522d][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=4][COLOR=#a0522d]Recently this past couple months he has began saying things that concern me. About 2 months ago we were running with the puppy, laughing and having a good time. All of a sudden he looks at a pond we were walking by and said "Mom I am going to jump in that water. I don't care if I drowned". Then that night as he was leaning over the banister in our living room he tells me "Mommy I am going to jump. Then you will have to call 911". A couple weeks ago he tells my hubby "Dad I am going to jump out the window, sit in the middle of the road, so I can get hit by a car. Then I will be dead and everyone will be crying". We live on the 2nd floor. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=4][COLOR=#a0522d][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=4][COLOR=#a0522d]He has always been agressive with animals: throwing the cats out our windows, chokes the puppy, hits her, kicks her, etc. He began telling me about a year ago that there is a person inside his body who tells him to do bad things. One day he cut his foot. He was really upset screaming "Stop laughing at me"! I said "Honey Nobody is laughing at you." He said "Yeah belly is. Tell him to stop." He has always told me that belly tells him to do bad things. His counselors always blew it off but I think he really hears voices. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=4][COLOR=#a0522d][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=4][COLOR=#a0522d]His counselor that he was seeing for the past three years told me a couple months ago that she does not know how to help him and I needed to find somebody with more expertise. He said he is a challenge, like a puzzle. So we started seeing a new psychiatrist last month who I am not so sure about. He put him on Lithium which has made him more stable, but there are a few things I don't like about him. There is not one toy in his office, he is not open minded about any of the newer medications, his office is not set up for children, and he talks to us about Elijah, but never directly to him. Elijah has gained 50 lbs in two years on the Risperdal. He is currently on Risperdal, Celexa, Vistaril, Clonidine, and Lithium. The medications have helped his rages and anxiety, but he is not totally stable. We have seen improved results on the Lithium. I am concerned about all this weight from the Risperdal. He used to be so active and he no longer is. He eats a healthy diet, but still gains all this weight. He still rages, but now they last about twenty minutes instead of three to four hours. I have been contemplating taking him to Boston Tufts Medical Center because I heard back from them and they have a whole mood disorders clinic for children.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=4][COLOR=#a0522d][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=4][COLOR=#a0522d]I have included a poem I wrote about my son to help you understand our situation:[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [B][I][U][FONT=Batang][CENTER]Wonders of a mother [/CENTER] [/FONT][/U][/I][/B][I][U][FONT=Batang][/font][/u][/I][U][FONT=Batang][/font][/U][FONT=Batang]I wonder what tomorrow brings For a little life all filled with fright I wonder what tomorrow brings For a little boy so afraid at night Can not control your body From all the terrors inside Darkness fills your heart You want so much to hide Here I sit On a cold dark night Wondering what the future brings My heart fills with fright People do not understand What goes on in my son's land They do not know him They don't hold his hand The fears that he shows We are the only ones that know In a world so full of people We seem all alone Wishing there were a magic pill To make things all great Wishing the rain Could not flood his gates Wishing he could Be a happy boy Sitting quietly Playing with his toys Laughing and playing Like the other kids do Getting good grades Getting along good in school Deep in his heart I feel his aches and pains For I am his mother I know how his heart rains He does not want To live like this I know For only I wish To others he could show The happiness he feels inside That fills my heart with pride People do not understand him That is why my heart cries Wishing his moods Would not be so blue Wishing that others Could understand him too Wishing that schools Could just cooperate Wishing here lonely His life could be great I wish that he Gets the help that he needs Wishing in life He does succeed Not knowing what to do With a boy so happy AND blue Filled with anger and hostility Only wanting others to see To the hospital I can not let him go For he is a baby That only I seem to know His pain is invisible Behind a smile so bright Wishing others could see What can make his heart light There are three children in there One is nice as can be That is the one I wish everyone could see Then there is the angry one Who hurts others until they cry He will tell you I hate you And laugh as he hurts you There is my sad son Does not know what he has done Wonders why as people are mad Asks "Why are you sad" The little looks on his face Are filled with such sadness A boy locked inside A world filled with madness I love him so dearly As I sit here so teary Wonder what I could do Have I been a good mother What could I have done different So he did not end up this way My heart fills with thunder As I pray to God each day Please give me the strength Patience to deal Please let people know His disability is real Please help them understand Do for him what is best Please look over us lord Keep us all safe in this land I wonder why is my son Stuck in this body That does not not cooperate Will he ever be free From this bipolar gate [/FONT][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=darkred]Thanks to all who read my long post. [/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#8b0000][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#8b0000]Janice[/COLOR][/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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New member: mom to ds with- adhd, BiPolar (BP), sensory processing disorder (SPD), and cognitive disorder
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