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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 731108" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I respect your point of view. I just want to say that no psychologist would force her to talk about it. They wait until the kid initiates it and the psychologist we had just made herself trustworthy until my kids were ready to talk. It took a year or more. No pressure. It was not pushed. If your daughter never talks about it or starts to feel she can't talk about it, it will be worse in the long term. Your daughter is actually old enough for a gentle exam and will need one in her teens anyway. They did not do a complete exam on my baby. I was with her. It was not like a pap smear. </p><p></p><p>I know you want to preserve your marriage and I guess you believe things can be okay with SS still in your daughters family. I have no experience being sexually abused. I can only imagine I would not want SS in my life at all and would avoid him forever once I grew up if this had happened to me. She may resent the whole family for trying to force him in her life. </p><p></p><p> Long term SS may marry and have kids. How will daughter feel? Will she want to tell his wife about what he did? Will she just tell the wife without even talking about it to any of you? What if she does because she fears for his kids? Great potential for huge later problems. Even if SS gets help it won't ever go away, especially if daughter does not get help yet is considered related to him. </p><p></p><p>Your husband's hesitation about SS to me is troubling. He knows what he did but he Thereis heditant?? Really? And there is no guarantee that sexual issues like SS has can be fixed. I see staying with this man as a huge clusterfrick waiting to blow up. Not fixable in a way that makes the family whole. There is no man on Earth to me that is worth the probable welfare of my kids, but don't be insulted...obviously you feel it can resolve and I don't. You are not trying to ruin your daughter. You think differently from me...that somehow it can work out.</p><p></p><p>I hope you are right and I am wrong since you are doing things way differently than I would and did. I really have nothing to say other than Good bless you all. I wish you the very best.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 731108, member: 1550"] I respect your point of view. I just want to say that no psychologist would force her to talk about it. They wait until the kid initiates it and the psychologist we had just made herself trustworthy until my kids were ready to talk. It took a year or more. No pressure. It was not pushed. If your daughter never talks about it or starts to feel she can't talk about it, it will be worse in the long term. Your daughter is actually old enough for a gentle exam and will need one in her teens anyway. They did not do a complete exam on my baby. I was with her. It was not like a pap smear. I know you want to preserve your marriage and I guess you believe things can be okay with SS still in your daughters family. I have no experience being sexually abused. I can only imagine I would not want SS in my life at all and would avoid him forever once I grew up if this had happened to me. She may resent the whole family for trying to force him in her life. Long term SS may marry and have kids. How will daughter feel? Will she want to tell his wife about what he did? Will she just tell the wife without even talking about it to any of you? What if she does because she fears for his kids? Great potential for huge later problems. Even if SS gets help it won't ever go away, especially if daughter does not get help yet is considered related to him. Your husband's hesitation about SS to me is troubling. He knows what he did but he Thereis heditant?? Really? And there is no guarantee that sexual issues like SS has can be fixed. I see staying with this man as a huge clusterfrick waiting to blow up. Not fixable in a way that makes the family whole. There is no man on Earth to me that is worth the probable welfare of my kids, but don't be insulted...obviously you feel it can resolve and I don't. You are not trying to ruin your daughter. You think differently from me...that somehow it can work out. I hope you are right and I am wrong since you are doing things way differently than I would and did. I really have nothing to say other than Good bless you all. I wish you the very best. [/QUOTE]
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