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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 737694" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I think there are risks to not tell daughter. She could find out another way. Stepson or another relative could tell her in a blaming or otherwise hurtful way. If you/the therapists tell her you control the info and how it is presented. You are available to answer questions. Help her with her feelings. Over time. </p><p></p><p>To not tell her you hide it. Why? Would she feel that it is her fault? Wrong? Why would others know and not her?that is how she could feel. </p><p></p><p>____</p><p></p><p>I see why the therapists do not want disclosure outside of the stepson. I do not want to get into it here but: he is a juvenile, he has not been charged or convicted of a crime. Even the law believes in the preponderance of change for a juvenile. Given that the therapists are coming down on the side of privacy for him.</p><p></p><p>Sumsky. if you push to out him I fear you have no legal standing and you might push your husband into a corner. I know some have advocated you leave the house or marriage. I think that is your decision to make. </p><p></p><p>You have secured your daughter's safety. You are not responsible to do more. School is responsible to protect the other kids. Not you. If there is obligation it is your husbands not yours.</p><p></p><p>I know there is strong, legitimate feeling to the contrary about stepson.There is no need to shoot me down. I have read the other posts. I am just responding with the other side of the coin.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 737694, member: 18958"] I think there are risks to not tell daughter. She could find out another way. Stepson or another relative could tell her in a blaming or otherwise hurtful way. If you/the therapists tell her you control the info and how it is presented. You are available to answer questions. Help her with her feelings. Over time. To not tell her you hide it. Why? Would she feel that it is her fault? Wrong? Why would others know and not her?that is how she could feel. ____ I see why the therapists do not want disclosure outside of the stepson. I do not want to get into it here but: he is a juvenile, he has not been charged or convicted of a crime. Even the law believes in the preponderance of change for a juvenile. Given that the therapists are coming down on the side of privacy for him. Sumsky. if you push to out him I fear you have no legal standing and you might push your husband into a corner. I know some have advocated you leave the house or marriage. I think that is your decision to make. You have secured your daughter's safety. You are not responsible to do more. School is responsible to protect the other kids. Not you. If there is obligation it is your husbands not yours. I know there is strong, legitimate feeling to the contrary about stepson.There is no need to shoot me down. I have read the other posts. I am just responding with the other side of the coin. [/QUOTE]
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