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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 422361" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>How about...be persistent...hehe <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p></p><p>He isn't going to outgrow it (most likely) and it is silly for your son not to be getting help now (not to mention how much the rest of your family needs the respite). If this doctor refuses to refer you, maybe you should get a second opinion from a fresh perspective (a new doctor). Sounds pretty obvious that it would be very helpful for your son and the entire family if you had an idea of what is going on. Then you could adapt your parenting technique according to what would work. Many if not most of our kids do not respond to traditional parenting ideas. Often therapists are clueless about this and pretty much offer the same solutions to all kids...which makes US feel like failures when our kids don't respond. Been there/done that!</p><p></p><p>Temperament is indeed inherited. If you've ever talked to adoptive parents (of which I am one) they will often swear that their child is far more like their birthparents than them, even if they never met their birthparents. Kids even seem to inherit certain gestures...it's spooky. Also, in any infant nursery the day old infants have their own temperaments already. Some cry, some are quiet and contented, some look around with big eyes...there is no blank slate.</p><p></p><p>I personally don't believe in spanking difficult child's. Like you saw, they don't respond to it usually and they don't need to see that we, the parents, hit when we are angry. Many of our kids already do that and need to see us as calm as possible. Of course, we do slip up.</p><p></p><p>I wish you luck. Keep us posted.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 422361, member: 1550"] How about...be persistent...hehe :) He isn't going to outgrow it (most likely) and it is silly for your son not to be getting help now (not to mention how much the rest of your family needs the respite). If this doctor refuses to refer you, maybe you should get a second opinion from a fresh perspective (a new doctor). Sounds pretty obvious that it would be very helpful for your son and the entire family if you had an idea of what is going on. Then you could adapt your parenting technique according to what would work. Many if not most of our kids do not respond to traditional parenting ideas. Often therapists are clueless about this and pretty much offer the same solutions to all kids...which makes US feel like failures when our kids don't respond. Been there/done that! Temperament is indeed inherited. If you've ever talked to adoptive parents (of which I am one) they will often swear that their child is far more like their birthparents than them, even if they never met their birthparents. Kids even seem to inherit certain gestures...it's spooky. Also, in any infant nursery the day old infants have their own temperaments already. Some cry, some are quiet and contented, some look around with big eyes...there is no blank slate. I personally don't believe in spanking difficult child's. Like you saw, they don't respond to it usually and they don't need to see that we, the parents, hit when we are angry. Many of our kids already do that and need to see us as calm as possible. Of course, we do slip up. I wish you luck. Keep us posted. [/QUOTE]
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