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New to board, so many issues--need clarity
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<blockquote data-quote="Origami" data-source="post: 633988" data-attributes="member: 18099"><p>Janet, I almost laughed when I read that you and your husband moved out and left the "kids" behind, because my husband had jokingly said we should do the same thing! Unfortunately, finances don't allow anything beyond the fantasy: "Let's move to a small apartment (no spare bedrooms) and not leave a forwarding address!" I'm sure it wasn't funny that you guys had to do that, but it just seems weird to realize we're not the only ones with that thought.</p><p> </p><p>Thanks also, Echolette, for your good words. I do realize I'm being walked all over, but don't quite know how to stand up for myself yet. I think in the back of my mind, I would feel like I'm throwing my little grandchildren out on the street if I say they can't live with us. They just started school today at our neighborhood school, so it seems like this togetherness thing is getting even more entrenched. Meanwhile, daughter-in-law has brought in another van load of kids toys that they're sorting through from their other apartment.</p><p> </p><p>Another thing is that son and wife are being very nice, cooperative, and helpful. They clean up the kitchen after dinner, take down the trash, are generally fine to live with. We watch TV together and are planning to take the kids to Legoland soon. So part of me says I should just let things ride since they're not so bad right now, give them time to regroup, see if my son gets off house arrest at his next court date, etc. But then I look around at the massive amounts of toys in my living room, the books my son has moved out of my daughter's former room to make room for his things, and I'm still feeling like a doormat.</p><p> </p><p>And on a more petty note, son informed me the other day that he installed a video game on my laptop for his son (the 5-year-old) to play since my computer's faster than theirs and his screen's broken. Then he was also playing it. I said, "I didn't want anyone else on my computer, and I didn't want that to become the Minecraft computer." Son left the room, and my husband called him back and said we'd pay the $50 to fix the screen on his computer. (broken during the latest fight between my two difficult children).</p><p> </p><p>My daughter said we shouldn't have paid to replace the screen since it wasn't our fault it got broken. Another son who lives out of state says I need to tell them to move and not to be subtle about it because they don't take hints well. Voices of reason? But I'm not comfortable being the bad guy. (sigh)</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Origami, post: 633988, member: 18099"] Janet, I almost laughed when I read that you and your husband moved out and left the "kids" behind, because my husband had jokingly said we should do the same thing! Unfortunately, finances don't allow anything beyond the fantasy: "Let's move to a small apartment (no spare bedrooms) and not leave a forwarding address!" I'm sure it wasn't funny that you guys had to do that, but it just seems weird to realize we're not the only ones with that thought. Thanks also, Echolette, for your good words. I do realize I'm being walked all over, but don't quite know how to stand up for myself yet. I think in the back of my mind, I would feel like I'm throwing my little grandchildren out on the street if I say they can't live with us. They just started school today at our neighborhood school, so it seems like this togetherness thing is getting even more entrenched. Meanwhile, daughter-in-law has brought in another van load of kids toys that they're sorting through from their other apartment. Another thing is that son and wife are being very nice, cooperative, and helpful. They clean up the kitchen after dinner, take down the trash, are generally fine to live with. We watch TV together and are planning to take the kids to Legoland soon. So part of me says I should just let things ride since they're not so bad right now, give them time to regroup, see if my son gets off house arrest at his next court date, etc. But then I look around at the massive amounts of toys in my living room, the books my son has moved out of my daughter's former room to make room for his things, and I'm still feeling like a doormat. And on a more petty note, son informed me the other day that he installed a video game on my laptop for his son (the 5-year-old) to play since my computer's faster than theirs and his screen's broken. Then he was also playing it. I said, "I didn't want anyone else on my computer, and I didn't want that to become the Minecraft computer." Son left the room, and my husband called him back and said we'd pay the $50 to fix the screen on his computer. (broken during the latest fight between my two difficult children). My daughter said we shouldn't have paid to replace the screen since it wasn't our fault it got broken. Another son who lives out of state says I need to tell them to move and not to be subtle about it because they don't take hints well. Voices of reason? But I'm not comfortable being the bad guy. (sigh) [/QUOTE]
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