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Parent Emeritus
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<blockquote data-quote="Acacia" data-source="post: 761670" data-attributes="member: 19832"><p>Where to begin. You and your son have both have had tremendous trauma in your lives. As parents we are all imperfect, but I am sure your intentions have always been to be a good mother. Many of us here have similar stories and/or our own trauma. I know that I had a difficult childhood. </p><p></p><p>Here's the thing: you won't help your son by tolerating his abuse of you. You deserve to be treated with kindness and respect. You can't change the past, and your son is an adult now - at least physically. He needs to stop blaming you for his life. My difficult 36 year old son doesn't live with me, but when he is verbally abusive, I stop contact. </p><p></p><p>It sounds like time for you to focus on your safety and well-being. Here are some things that helped me though still I have a long way to go: Twelve step meetings online or in person (Coda, Alanon, and Naranon), reading, therapy, meditation, posting here, learning to take care of myself and do things I like. Learning to set boundaries. My thoughts and prayers are with you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Acacia, post: 761670, member: 19832"] Where to begin. You and your son have both have had tremendous trauma in your lives. As parents we are all imperfect, but I am sure your intentions have always been to be a good mother. Many of us here have similar stories and/or our own trauma. I know that I had a difficult childhood. Here's the thing: you won't help your son by tolerating his abuse of you. You deserve to be treated with kindness and respect. You can't change the past, and your son is an adult now - at least physically. He needs to stop blaming you for his life. My difficult 36 year old son doesn't live with me, but when he is verbally abusive, I stop contact. It sounds like time for you to focus on your safety and well-being. Here are some things that helped me though still I have a long way to go: Twelve step meetings online or in person (Coda, Alanon, and Naranon), reading, therapy, meditation, posting here, learning to take care of myself and do things I like. Learning to set boundaries. My thoughts and prayers are with you. [/QUOTE]
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