Some kids (and more adults than you probably think) don't even consider pot a drug, much like most adults drink and don't consider alcohol a drug. I don't like either and equally. Cigarettes are legal too and I hate them.
In my house, the boundaries are: Our house/our rules.
Nobody smokes anything. Nobody does anything illegal. Nobody gets drunk. We don't even have alcohol. Nobody is disrespectful. Our home is our sanctuary. It is OUR home, not our children's home. One day they will probably have a home, but it will be separate from ours and they will make their own rules. The same goes for you and your house and rules.I feel your house should be a sanctuary for you too...a place where you can be peaceful and safe.
Finally, I agree that we have nothing to do with our grown children's bad choices. Peers become more important than we do as they age. We are not with them as much and they may choose bad friends and make poor choices, but how is that our fault if we didn't teach them to do it? Don't be hard on yourself. You are a good person who is puzzled, like all of us are, when our grown or not grown children decide to abuse substances. We didn't cause it, we can't cure it, and we can't control it. And our grown kids keep lots of secrets and do it well so we don't know everything they are doing.
Hugs!!!
