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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 316042" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>I second smallworld on making sure it's really BiPolar (BP).</p><p></p><p>The raging and mood swings, you can also get with high functioning autism in its various forms, simply because these kids, especially as they get older, are very hard on themselves as well as on the world, for not being fair. To these kids, life seems very unfair andsometimes this is deeply distressing and they can be very depressed. At other times, especially when they're doing something they really enjoy, they can seem almost manic in their delight.</p><p></p><p>We get the raging, big-time, but have found methods which help tone it down. Most of the time. The big problem (cause?) of the raging for us, is the inability for him to learn the social subtleties of human interactions. He cannot understand, for example, that you treat different people in different ways according to how old they are, whether they are authority figures or not, and so on. He will treat a 6 month old baby as if the baby is his intellectual equal. He would treat his teachers the same. If a teacher were rude or sarcastic to him, he would be rude or sarcastic back, then consider it very unfair to be punished for it. He really did not (still does not properly) understand.</p><p></p><p>We had to change tack. Change mindset, I call it. we had to take the first step and treat him with respect, even when he was being disrespectful. How else can he learn (by our example) the right way to behave?</p><p></p><p>If you think about it, adults do treat children with appalling disrespect, at times. it is part of being an adult. But we get better results if we treat children with respect.</p><p></p><p>Other things you need to consider - if there's any chance this is Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) (and the ADHD is a possibly indicator) you need to avoid using sarcasm, even if you're using it with humour. It can confuse them. Even the really bright kids, and I've got a family full of bright kids who have had difficulty understanding sarcasm. difficult child 3 for years has been studying humour with the same intense concentration of a PhD History student. It's odd to see him so serious about humour!</p><p></p><p>To give a thought to the possibility of Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD), have a look at the Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) questionnaire on <a href="http://www.childbrain.com" target="_blank">www.childbrain.com</a>. It's not officially diagnostic, but you can print the rsults (whatever you get) and take it to a specialist for their opinion. If nothing else, it will indicate the areas of concern to you that you might not otherwise have thought to mention.</p><p></p><p>There is no certainty in diagnosis, a lot of the time, because there is no specific test we can do (like a blood test) which says, "Your child falls into this category." All we can do is the best we can, with what information and support we can get. You shouldn't beat yourself up for not having all the answers.</p><p></p><p>People here will suggest a neuropsychologist evaluation to really find out for sure. Also there are books which help. Loads of advice here simply because your story is so familiar.</p><p></p><p>Hang around, let us know how you get on.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 316042, member: 1991"] I second smallworld on making sure it's really BiPolar (BP). The raging and mood swings, you can also get with high functioning autism in its various forms, simply because these kids, especially as they get older, are very hard on themselves as well as on the world, for not being fair. To these kids, life seems very unfair andsometimes this is deeply distressing and they can be very depressed. At other times, especially when they're doing something they really enjoy, they can seem almost manic in their delight. We get the raging, big-time, but have found methods which help tone it down. Most of the time. The big problem (cause?) of the raging for us, is the inability for him to learn the social subtleties of human interactions. He cannot understand, for example, that you treat different people in different ways according to how old they are, whether they are authority figures or not, and so on. He will treat a 6 month old baby as if the baby is his intellectual equal. He would treat his teachers the same. If a teacher were rude or sarcastic to him, he would be rude or sarcastic back, then consider it very unfair to be punished for it. He really did not (still does not properly) understand. We had to change tack. Change mindset, I call it. we had to take the first step and treat him with respect, even when he was being disrespectful. How else can he learn (by our example) the right way to behave? If you think about it, adults do treat children with appalling disrespect, at times. it is part of being an adult. But we get better results if we treat children with respect. Other things you need to consider - if there's any chance this is Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) (and the ADHD is a possibly indicator) you need to avoid using sarcasm, even if you're using it with humour. It can confuse them. Even the really bright kids, and I've got a family full of bright kids who have had difficulty understanding sarcasm. difficult child 3 for years has been studying humour with the same intense concentration of a PhD History student. It's odd to see him so serious about humour! To give a thought to the possibility of Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD), have a look at the Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) questionnaire on [url]www.childbrain.com[/url]. It's not officially diagnostic, but you can print the rsults (whatever you get) and take it to a specialist for their opinion. If nothing else, it will indicate the areas of concern to you that you might not otherwise have thought to mention. There is no certainty in diagnosis, a lot of the time, because there is no specific test we can do (like a blood test) which says, "Your child falls into this category." All we can do is the best we can, with what information and support we can get. You shouldn't beat yourself up for not having all the answers. People here will suggest a neuropsychologist evaluation to really find out for sure. Also there are books which help. Loads of advice here simply because your story is so familiar. Hang around, let us know how you get on. Marg [/QUOTE]
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