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<blockquote data-quote="PiscesMom" data-source="post: 708427" data-attributes="member: 19889"><p>Think of it this way. As hooked on alcohol as your wife is, you are hooked on codependency. And as hard as it may be for your wife to get help, same goes for you. Codependency often comes from a hurting place deep inside; you are trying to get a need met desperately by a person who cannot possibly do that. </p><p>Like attracts like. </p><p>You are in pain - you need to evolve. That is what your pain is telling you. Sounds like you have been committed to external appearances and achievements - now you need to work on your hurting heart. </p><p></p><p>Seeing other people getting over their "craziness" - and yes, you are being crazy, you just can't see it yet - will be very very helpful for you. You will help them, and they will help you. </p><p>Here is how crazy you are - you are losing your two beloved children, and yet you remain committed to your course of action!? Logically, you know you are wrong, but emotionally, you have no choice somehow, you have a deep deep compulsion to fix this. To fix the lives of two grown ups. And yet they don't seem to listen. Round and round you all go! No wonder your kids don't want to be around this!</p><p></p><p>Just like alcoholics understand each other in a way others can't - so do codependents. I knew immediately just by scanning your posts that you had not done anything. You just kept on trying to fix, trying to fix. </p><p></p><p>You are two crabs in a bucket, keeping each other stuck. Your wife's chances of getting recovery is so much better if you get into recovery yourself. And that is a fact. </p><p></p><p>You can do this!! You can find a way out. Go to meetings and find a therapist who specializes in core issues.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="PiscesMom, post: 708427, member: 19889"] Think of it this way. As hooked on alcohol as your wife is, you are hooked on codependency. And as hard as it may be for your wife to get help, same goes for you. Codependency often comes from a hurting place deep inside; you are trying to get a need met desperately by a person who cannot possibly do that. Like attracts like. You are in pain - you need to evolve. That is what your pain is telling you. Sounds like you have been committed to external appearances and achievements - now you need to work on your hurting heart. Seeing other people getting over their "craziness" - and yes, you are being crazy, you just can't see it yet - will be very very helpful for you. You will help them, and they will help you. Here is how crazy you are - you are losing your two beloved children, and yet you remain committed to your course of action!? Logically, you know you are wrong, but emotionally, you have no choice somehow, you have a deep deep compulsion to fix this. To fix the lives of two grown ups. And yet they don't seem to listen. Round and round you all go! No wonder your kids don't want to be around this! Just like alcoholics understand each other in a way others can't - so do codependents. I knew immediately just by scanning your posts that you had not done anything. You just kept on trying to fix, trying to fix. You are two crabs in a bucket, keeping each other stuck. Your wife's chances of getting recovery is so much better if you get into recovery yourself. And that is a fact. You can do this!! You can find a way out. Go to meetings and find a therapist who specializes in core issues. [/QUOTE]
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