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No clue how to save my adult son
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 736752" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Although your son is mentally ill (I have a mood disorder and anxiety and at his age it was very bad,) he is not a little boy or your baby anymore at all. He is a man and will be seen as such by society. By his age many are in the military, finishing college, working full time and many many mentally ill young people are listening to their doctors, taking their medications, and thriving. Your son has made a terrible adult decision to not listen to the doctor and to drink and use pot instead. It is not his fault he is mentally ill, unless the pot caused it (look it up....pot can kick up psychisis in those who have latent genes for this). Alcohol does not help. I hope the DUI took your son off the road before he kills himself or innocent drivers, even children. My advice is to not give him access to any vehical, not pay his insurance, let him take a bus, use a bike or walk before it gets worse. At least nobody will die. Yes, he will throw a toddler tantrum. They all do. They are still adults </p><p></p><p>It is hard to see our adults, all who seem so much younger, as their ages but the fact is that society will cut them no slack. You own your home. Your home/your rules. A suggestion is to tell him he can only live with you if he sees his psychiatrist, takes his medication under your watching gaze, and he can not smoke pot or be drunk under your roof or on your property. If he is, he has to find elsewhere to sleep. I made my 19 year old coke and meth using daughter leave and she turned her life around FAST! This isnt always the result, but your son has no motivation to quit if he has a nice cozy space to smoke pot, drink, abuse you, get no treatment and do whatever he wants. He wont change under those circumstances.</p><p></p><p>I hope you dont feel this is too harsh. I want you to maybe see, from a third party perspective, that your son could do a lot to make his life better but that he is choosing to make it worse. He has the ability to do better but he doesnt have to and he wont. </p><p></p><p>If you have his baby pictures or ten year old pictures on your walls, take them down. Think of him as a man who doesnt want to get well and grow up. Nothing will change if nothing changes.</p><p></p><p>Light and love!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 736752, member: 1550"] Although your son is mentally ill (I have a mood disorder and anxiety and at his age it was very bad,) he is not a little boy or your baby anymore at all. He is a man and will be seen as such by society. By his age many are in the military, finishing college, working full time and many many mentally ill young people are listening to their doctors, taking their medications, and thriving. Your son has made a terrible adult decision to not listen to the doctor and to drink and use pot instead. It is not his fault he is mentally ill, unless the pot caused it (look it up....pot can kick up psychisis in those who have latent genes for this). Alcohol does not help. I hope the DUI took your son off the road before he kills himself or innocent drivers, even children. My advice is to not give him access to any vehical, not pay his insurance, let him take a bus, use a bike or walk before it gets worse. At least nobody will die. Yes, he will throw a toddler tantrum. They all do. They are still adults It is hard to see our adults, all who seem so much younger, as their ages but the fact is that society will cut them no slack. You own your home. Your home/your rules. A suggestion is to tell him he can only live with you if he sees his psychiatrist, takes his medication under your watching gaze, and he can not smoke pot or be drunk under your roof or on your property. If he is, he has to find elsewhere to sleep. I made my 19 year old coke and meth using daughter leave and she turned her life around FAST! This isnt always the result, but your son has no motivation to quit if he has a nice cozy space to smoke pot, drink, abuse you, get no treatment and do whatever he wants. He wont change under those circumstances. I hope you dont feel this is too harsh. I want you to maybe see, from a third party perspective, that your son could do a lot to make his life better but that he is choosing to make it worse. He has the ability to do better but he doesnt have to and he wont. If you have his baby pictures or ten year old pictures on your walls, take them down. Think of him as a man who doesnt want to get well and grow up. Nothing will change if nothing changes. Light and love! [/QUOTE]
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No clue how to save my adult son
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